r/KidsAreFuckingStupid • u/UnstableIsotopeU-234 • 2d ago
Kids be spewing words story/text
1.2k
u/digitaldumpsterfire 2d ago
When I was in Kindergarten, we got the talk about drugs and my stupid ass said my parents take drugs. We lived on a military base and the school was also on base, so there was a formal search by the MPs.
Vitamins. My parents took vitamins every morning. Lucky for me, my dad has a soft spot for me lol.
490
u/Doglover20child 2d ago
When I was in second grade DARE came and gave us the talk about drugs but for some reason they also included cigarettes. They then proceeded to act as if cigarettes were like cocaine or meth and the whole time they passed around jars with disgusting rotted teeth and nasty yellow-black liquid and claimed that they were from someone who smoked cigarettes and showed us exaggerated videos about what happens when you smoke cigarettes.
After that they told kids that their parents shouldn't smoke cigarettes because they were drugs. My parents were highly amused with it because of how stupid it was. The next day at school a bunch of kids were in trouble and grounded because they told DARE that their parents did drugs when all they did was smoke cigarettes.
379
u/mafiaknight 1d ago
DARE: cigarettes are drugs
Kids: 😱 my parents do drugs!
Staff: detention for lying!!!
Why aren't the DARE officers in detention then?
100
79
u/Doglover20child 1d ago
Honestly DARE should've explained everything correctly lol. If I remember correctly there were at least 2 kids who were grounded majorly (if memory serves me correctly they weren't allowed to have friends over or go to the park or hang out with friends) because the cops showed up to their houses because DARE called them.
58
u/SiriusSlytherinSnake 1d ago
I've seen a few times because DARE did not make a distinction between prescription drugs and other drugs quite a few parents and children get into trouble...
9
u/vegetaman 1d ago
Dare really was handled like some wild west shit looking back. Here kids this is a suitcase of what real drugs look like and all their street names. Did 8 year old me need to know about ice, heroin and crack? Meth was what our area was known for anyway, those dinguses!
7
5
126
u/Historical-Cap3704 1d ago
When I was in second grade my family all did drugs and were not responsible adults and I came home to tell them that I had to do a project for DARE and my sisters boyfriend had a brilliant idea to MAKE ME A CRACK PIPE OUT OF MY MOTHERS EMPTY PILL BOTTLE and a pen and put it in a fancy jewelry box and i walked right into school READY for this show and tell that i had made the night before. I was so excited to share with my class because my family rarely helped with homework. I was sent to the principals office and the police were called.
71
1
33
u/elizabnthe 1d ago
It sounds like their was a miscommunication. But they're not exactly wrong about the dangers of smoking really.
16
u/Doglover20child 1d ago
They did explain the dangers of smoking pretty well but they also exaggerated a bunch of dangers as well made one up (it might've been to scare us kids but there were/are so many better ways to do that). In one of the videos they used it had an animated person taking a puff of a cigarette and then showed the persons lungs filling with black smoke and the smoke staying there forever and anytime the person coughed they'd cough out smoke (like in a cartoon), this played while the DARE officer stood confident that the video was true.
However they did convey the true dangers of smoking perfectly and many kids understood it.
88
u/BMGreg 1d ago
My brother told my grandma "my dad doesn't drink and drive. He only drinks at red lights!"
He was referring to my dad drinking Pepsi or whatever, and thought that the physical act of drinking while you were steering the car was "drinking and driving"
31
u/that_mack 1d ago
For the love of god, why doesn’t anyone tell kids that the act of “drinking” refers to alcohol??? I read Black Beauty as a kid and there are lines about one of his owners being “too fond of drink”. Just “drink”. Little me could not figure out for the life of me what they were referring to, because surely if they meant alcohol they would just say he was an alcoholic! And that doesn’t have real-world consequences. Just telling children “drinking and driving is bad” without telling them they’re talking about alcohol can and has led to a lot of dangerous situations with cops. My abuelo got arrested in the 90s because of this exact scenario with my cousin in the car because he was little and told the officer grandpa drank and drove all the time.
8
u/vegetaman 1d ago
Common problem since kids lack context of what “drinking” is. Astonishing really.
-1
u/twinnedcalcite 1d ago
In some parts that is distracted driving and something you can get a ticket for. Technically correct, depending on location.
1
u/BMGreg 20h ago
You'd have to have an extremely bored cop if drinking a Pepsi at a red light got you pulled over
0
u/twinnedcalcite 20h ago
usually they are looking for cell phone use at the light. They are often very visible so not noticing them means you are not paying attention to the road.
37
u/DrunkThrowawayLife 1d ago
I think D.A.R.E and other programs really fucked some kids up
I distinctly remember the person talking to us in elementary school absolutely having no script what to say to a distressed eight year old about if taking his heart medication was ok after giving a spiel about prescription pills
‘Oh no if it’s from a doctor it’s ok…’
Crying eight year old: ‘you said the bad drugs come from doctors!’
23
u/DrunkThrowawayLife 1d ago
I wasn’t any smarter than the other eight year olds but my one grandma loves pot and I knew not to say boo about that and I knew my cousin needs insulin to live.
So I’m just sitting there seeing the chaos this guy created like
3
393
u/whatsamajig 2d ago
My brother told his class our dad died in the gulf war while it was still active. They erected a memorial and called my mom with condolences. She was very confused.
100
u/CarolineTurpentine 1d ago
My aunt told her teacher that he father died when she was like 5. She forgot that her principal was my grandmas cousin.
424
u/DrunkThrowawayLife 1d ago
I babysat a kid who confidently told me his parents were drug dealers.
Ok where are the drugs? Show me. Very seriously he gets a pill pack from the drawer of his parents room.
Oh
Well now I know your dad has erectile dysfunction. That was a weird talk to have with the parents.
47
u/ShadowMoon314 1d ago
Oh
Well now I know your dad has erectile dysfunction.
HAHAHAHA Ok this one wins
796
u/InevitableRhubarb232 2d ago
I’m super concerned if “probable cause” for a home search is the words of a 5 yr old.
543
u/Nickhead420 2d ago
Back in 2001 my boss was arrested for growing massive amounts of weed in his basement. The investigation started when his daughter told the D.A.R.E. officer that her dad "had a bunch of that stuff."
326
154
u/InevitableRhubarb232 2d ago
Lol. I would hope it might have been the trigger to investigate and get a legit warrant and that secondhand heresay from a child wasn’t enough for a judge to issue a warrant. You never know anymore. 😞
71
u/Quailman5000 1d ago
Fruit of a poisonous tree. No parent was present when the child was "interrogated" by the police for the information.
No it wasn't an interrogation? Do you have proof? Was the parent present? Was an attorney present representing the child? No?
28
u/GoneWilde123 1d ago
Ah! Yes, I remember being pulled into an office with an officer once when I was in elementary school but I was scared of the police (nobody’s fault they were just big and scary - and I grew up in the hood) so I begged to call my parents. They were livid. My mom said to go back to class and not to say anything to them because they weren’t allowed to talk to me. They contacted a lawyer immediately. The school received a direct phone call from my mom. I was let go.
Turns out some guy at a bar tried to report my dad for being weird to the police. My dad is in fact an absolute weirdo but mostly harmless.
1
u/nolan1971 1d ago
OTOH, arrested doesn't mean convicted. And I'm sure his boss got rid of the plants after this incident. Mission accomplished?
45
u/DelirousDoc 1d ago
That is a bit different though. That is a child directly telling a police officer and directly identifying an offense by pointing out the illegal substance in question. Plus the whole D.A.R.E. drug craze. I would also hope that the statement led to further investigation and not police quickly executing a search warrant on the house.
This is a supposed second hand account a teacher overheard then told the police and the statement was "my dad is a big robber with lots of guns" according to the account the police quickly executed a search warrant. Also how did he know the teacher told the police? How did he know what his child was overheard saying? Are police in the habit of identifying the people reporting crimes to the alleged suspects?
32
u/BLACK_MILITANT 1d ago
If the investigation shows that the alleged suspect is innocent, then yeah. Usually, in an attempt to justify whatever bs the cops did during the investigation. Cops kick in your door to search for guns and stolen property. Trash your home while looking. No guns nor stolen property found.
Alleged Suspect: "So why did you guys kick in my door?"
Cops: "Well, Ms. Kerfuffle overheard lil Timmy tell his friends you were a big robber with plenty of guns, so we just had to come and check it out. Blame lil Timmy, not us."
7
u/Any-Practice-991 1d ago
Aside from everything else you brought up, the police do divulge the identity of who reported, it's part of the constitutional right to face one's accuser.
3
u/DelirousDoc 1d ago
That is only necessary if you are charged with a crime not for search warrants. The 6th amendment literally starts with "In all criminal prosecutions..."
2
8
u/DevFreelanceStuff 1d ago
You know, the existence of DARE makes a lot more sense if you think about this being it's sinister purpose.
79
u/WheelinJeep 2d ago
Dude my daughter went to school saying a “Green man scared me and touched me” she was 4 at the time. A GREEN MAN. They came to my house questioning me and wanting to know who I am etc etc. “Do I fucking look green?” I was asking myself. Turns out she had a Nightmare Before Christmas pillow sheet that scared her into having bad dreams. They’ll use and do anything they can to get someone
27
u/Fresh_Sector3917 2d ago
What year was that? In the late 80s/early 90s, there were tons of cases where people were prosecuted and convicted on the flimsiest of evidence. Look at the McMartin PreSchool case in California.
11
12
u/Own_Conclusion7255 1d ago
Nah, that's just America.
5
u/Emotional-Bet-5311 1d ago
It really is prone to moral panics. I guess this is what happens when a decent chunk of the population belong to some of the dumbest Christian sects to ever exist. People literally think Satan is out and about seducing people into black magic cults.
13
u/InevitableRhubarb232 1d ago
That is more along the lines of mandatory reporter for sa though.
-3
u/WheelinJeep 1d ago
The kindergarten teacher had met me various times. As well as Mom. She was outrageous for calling the cops on pretty much me, like that
11
u/that_mack 1d ago
I have some terrible news about the most likely perpetrators of child abuse. You’re not special or different in the face of statistics. It sucks that the situation happened, but the teacher was absolutely correct to call.
23
u/InevitableRhubarb232 1d ago
They are mandatory reporters. It doesn’t matter how much they like you or not.
14
u/Z0MBIE2 1d ago
You really aren't getting the mandatory part of 'mandatory reporters'.
-5
u/WheelinJeep 1d ago
I got it after the 2nd time. They shouldn’t have the right to do that in todays age. Cop could’ve said fuck all and put me in jail for nothing. I could tell they were trying, too. Asking my kid, mother and Grandma all these twisted ass questions. They have no right to be doing any of that that imo
12
u/Z0MBIE2 1d ago
They, in fact, have every right to do it, because they're trying to stop people from abusing their children - why do you think it's different in 'todays age'? Like people suddenly stopped abusing their children?
It's understandable to be upset to get accused of something like this, but they're just doing their job to try and protect kids. The systems there for a reason.
3
u/WheelinJeep 1d ago
I said todays age in reference with how bad the police are nowadays. All I could think was how they’re gonna find some way to shove me to the ground, abuse me, and put me in the back of that cop car whilst all somehow making it my fault. In front of my children on my property. I understand protecting the children that’s perfect. But police aren’t there to protect just serve……
9
u/InevitableRhubarb232 1d ago
They are mandatory reporters. It doesn’t matter how much they like you or not.
15
u/homesforkestrels 1d ago
While that does sound like a pretty absurd situation and it sucks you went through that, it’s possible the person who reported it still had your kid’s best interest in mind. Missing that a child has been abused, even if it’s very unlikely, is infinitely worse than possibly subjecting an innocent person to unpleasant questioning (within limits, of course). Ideally neither would ever happen, but when the consequences for being wrong are not equal, it makes sense to err on the side of caution.
To be clear, I’m not saying everything kids say should be taken at face value nor that every parent should be questioned, just that there’s tradeoffs, and most people are probably trying their best to make sure the kids in their care are safe.
4
u/map-hunter-1337 1d ago
depends if the police bother to serve a warrant or just bust in your door in the middle of the night.
4
74
u/Elidabroken 2d ago
While I do see your point, kids tend to tell the truth about shit.
Source: I have 7 younger siblings and I have never been able to get away with anything
83
u/HLSparta 2d ago
While I do see your point, kids tend to tell the truth about shit.
And they also lie just as much. My cousin (who was 4 or 5 at the time) went into a room while everyone was at my grandma's, fell, and hit his head. He ran out of the room crying and my aunt asked what happened and he said "grandma hit me." As my grandma and everyone else are in the living room, which is not the room he fell in.
37
u/TurnipWorldly9437 2d ago
Yeah, that's a completely normal phase, too.
My stepdaughter told us once that one of her baby sisters had kicked her. SD was 4 and on the couch. Baby was 3 months old and lying in her crib.
Now, baby has grown a bit, is almost 4, and told me - while I was sitting right there and watching them - that SD was pushing her off the couch. 4 was literally trying to shove both her sisters off the couch with her legs, and didn't even stop while telling me 8 was pushing her.
28
u/InevitableRhubarb232 2d ago
It’s not legally enough to get a warrant. Secondhand heresay from a literal child? I would be voting to recall that judge at election time.
But also fun story I used to claim to be 28 (just because. I don’t actually care) but my 5yr old kid would yell out “mom!!!! You are 32!!!” 😂
3
1
133
u/dizzyjumpisreal 1d ago
overheard by his [CENSORED] teacher
by his WHAT teacher.
71
u/BoredomHeights 1d ago
Genuinely confused why that word was censored. It's the only reason I came to the comments and no one else has mentioned it.
41
u/UnstableIsotopeU-234 1d ago
Idiot teacher
67
36
u/iPoopLegos 1d ago
slur not censored, you have been banned, a warrant has been put out for your arrest, and your execution will be scheduled at your earliest convenience
5
u/AllGoodNamesBGone 1d ago
As long as the execution is being forced fed Legos and having to poop them out
109
u/iAmHopelessCom 2d ago
I want to know if the first kid was interpreting something (like paintball gear in the closet) or retelling a TV show like it happened to him!
192
u/Key_Artichoke99 1d ago
LOL When I was in 2nd grade I told my teacher my dad did child porn.
My teacher called my parents that day and they had to explain that my dad is a prosecutor and just did a case involving child porn.
I didn’t know what his job was, just that he worked on a child porn case. This story still gets brought up from time to time.
116
u/Skandronon 1d ago
My daughter told her principal that I make her sleep in my bed in her underwear and that we have a cage in the basement that we lock kids up in.
CPS showed up at our house asking for an explanation. I told them that she kept asking to sleep in our bed, and I told her I was fine with it as long as she at least had underwear on. The cage was a dog kennel in the basement that the kids liked playing in, and my youngest accidentally locked herself in. They told me they believed me but wanted to confirm there wasn't a cage in the basement for kids, lol. Fucking terrifying thing to show up on your doorstep.
21
u/Key_Artichoke99 1d ago
Omg that’s wild. I’m glad everything is ok, kids say the craziest things.
6
u/Skandronon 1d ago
It turned out that she's autistic so she sometimes says things rather bluntly that come across the wrong way haha.
41
31
16
u/Chiefalpaca 1d ago edited 1d ago
Your dad was telling you about CP cases in 2nd grade?
In case it isn’t obvious, I’m implying that this comment is lying.
15
u/Key_Artichoke99 1d ago
Yeah my dad talked about his cases when he got home from work all the time. Most of his cases involved drug trafficking and money laundering though. I didn’t know what money laundering was as a kid but I knew drugs were bad and he put bad guys in prison. He wasn’t telling me the gorey details at 2nd grade but I heard a bit about what he did.
88
u/Future_Armadillo6410 1d ago
My dad tells me that my mother received a concerned call from my school because around kindergarten I told them my dad took my little sisters clothes off. "She's three. Of course he does," was her response.
86
u/ThatInAHat 1d ago
My Dad got a concerned call from a teacher when my then-5-yo brother told her that Dad had lots of guns and that, no, they weren’t locked up, and yes, my brother knew where they were and could get to them.
My Dad collects muzzle-loading flintlock rifles. He displays them on the wall.
30
80
u/Kaldricus 1d ago
Had an incident recently where our daughter was throwing a huge fit going into her car seat. Kept leaning forward to push against the straps as it was tightening, and it pinched her neck. Yeah, had to get ahead of that real quick since she was saying "daddy choked me" in the morning when we dropped her off at pre school 🙄
48
u/Suyefuji 1d ago
One of the kids was throwing a fit and trying to run out into the road. I ran after her and tried to grab her shoulder but she twisted and I got her neck instead. She then proceeded to SCREAM to anyone and everyone that I was trying to choke her.
To be clear, I did not keep holding onto her neck, I managed to half-tackle her and put her in a safety hold, probably about 3 feet away from the road. I did apologize for accidentally grabbing her neck too.
29
u/Kaldricus 1d ago
Ugh, the trying to catch them mid temper tantrum is the worst. I've gotten pretty good at cupping my hand when she tries to throw herself as opposed to actually grabbing.
75
u/burrito_finger 1d ago
I told the front office at my school that I was being abducted because my grandfather was picking me up from school, no one had told me prior, I was 5 years old, and I didn’t recognize him with no facial hair. I refused to believe him and when my grandma didn’t answer the phone (I refused to leave school until the front office called my grandma to verify his identity because my mom was “in the hospital”, according to this strange bald faced man) I had a mental breakdown. Later my mom chewed him out for shaving his whole ass face before picking me up but my dad and both grandparents thought it was hilarious how seriously I took it that I was being abducted and needed to inform the proper authorities.
39
u/AllGoodNamesBGone 1d ago
I'd say that's a smart kid thing of you and not a stupid thing. Poor man, but I agree with granny
1
u/lunarwolf2008 6h ago
the mom in hospital sounds like one of the situations my mom would talk about for not going with strangers
57
u/willsbigboy 1d ago
Daughter told her pre-k teacher i had a belly cause i drunk beer. Was advised during parent/teacher conferences I should refrain from drinking in front of my child. Also of note, im diabetic and have a taste bud sometimes for diet ROOT beer. Fun times trying to explain that discrepancy.
29
u/Cyndrifst 1d ago
maybe im just ignorant about raising children but is drinking alcohol in front of them/mentioning you drink it really an issue? I mean, getting drunk is one thing, but a beer or two?
25
u/Box_O_Donguses 1d ago
It's not at all an issue. In fact occasionally having a drink or 2 at dinner around your kids can demonstrate and model a healthy relationship with alcohol for them.
38
u/NonBinaryPie 1d ago
my dads a fireman, and i told my 1st year teacher he burns peoples houses down and police went to our house. but when i told multiple teachers as a middle schooler that my dad was abusive and i don’t feel safe at home and please help me NOTHING WAS DONE.
oh how i love irony.
67
u/NibblesMcGiblet 1d ago
When my sons were little one of them came home and told us that when talking about parents job at school a classmate had said that his mom worked at McDonald’s and his dad watched TV all day. We thought it was super funny and just assumed the kid was making shit up like kids do, or got the information slightly wrong, but it turned out he was just being honest. Then I think we felt like total dicks for laughing and rightfully so.
I wish the story had a funny punchline, but I’m just sharing a time when we still believed the narratives that our parents told us when we were growing up about what was expected of grown-ups before we realized everybody was struggling just as hard as we were.
10
u/pelotudo_extremo 1d ago
That kid must have felt awful
7
u/NibblesMcGiblet 1d ago
I mean, I don't think a child that age would have any sort of feelings about their parents doing their own favorite things all day. watching tv and being at mcdonald's are usually things small children really like. I have no idea, I wasn't the teacher and obviously wasn't in the classroom to witness the interaction. But as you can see from the opening post contents, kids that age are pretty clueless and happy and just share what they think their parents are doing for a living in an excited manner without any sort of embarrassment over it, they're too young to think a given job is a "less than" job. All those societal things tend to come quite a bit later in life.
67
u/bordermelancollie09 1d ago
My partner worked armed security at a dispensary for a couple weeks to make some extra money. 11yr old went to school and told her friends that dad brings a gun to work and smells like a skunk all the time but at least we have more money now!
29
u/DustComprehensive155 1d ago
I used to grow super hot chili plants (Carolina Reaper etc) as a hobby and would start these under a lamp around February every year. My kid told her teacher that we had ‘a lot of plants hidden in the attic’. Nothing ever came of it but it can easily get you a visit from the fuzz around here.
44
u/SuccessfulNumber5771 1d ago
When I was in elementary, I told my teacher my mom lets me drink beer, my mom had to clarify in a phone call home that I called root beer, beer 🤦🏽♀️😂
19
u/BasketEvery4284 1d ago
My, at the time 5yr old Nephew asked his 3yr old sister to remind him what heaven was like because he was starting to forget, We are not a religious family and that comment has haunted me for years.
38
u/secret_bonus_point 2d ago
But what are you gonna do, not believe the kid? Have you seen any 90’s movies?
15
u/_dontseeme 1d ago
My mom was investigated after I said my mom drinks and drives all the time, having no idea it implied alcohol was involved.
31
u/txwoodslinger 1d ago
My mom had her appendix taken out and I told my friends she had her butt sewn shut. She was less than impressed when she came to have lunch with me at school one day.
11
u/Snoringdragon 1d ago
We moved into a large schoolhouse and we're renovating it slowly. The youngest told the teacher we had a fire to keep warm in the main living area. CPS shows up, worried we were freeburning wood in the middle of an old classroom. I happily lead her into the room, flipped the switch on the electric fake fireplace, and asked if she wanted fake flames or no fake flames. We laughed and then sat down for a good half hour chat about overreacting teachers and kids being kids.
94
u/ElevatorScary 2d ago
Thank goodness we have such a good society where armed men will invade your home based on an overheard conversation between 5 year olds. Post-9/11 better-safe-than-sorry Americans are a huge problem.
16
u/mechaemissary 2d ago
No idea why you’re getting downvoted for this.
9
u/ElevatorScary 1d ago
Other people getting to have civil liberties and civil rights is one of those suggestions Reddit really does not like, and they express their displeasure by clicking on little arrows. Reddit is a very reasonable place full of very rational people.
26
u/Fresh_Sector3917 2d ago
There’s no way police got a warrant to search the house after that.
28
u/AParticularThing 1d ago
you would hope but judges sign warrants on the flimsiest pretense
13
3
u/Box_O_Donguses 1d ago
Cops usually do the raid first and get the warrant backdated sometime during or after.
12
u/FourScoreTour 1d ago
Apparently my niece stood up in third grade and announced "my dad grows the best pot in the county". This was back before medicinal pot was even legal in California.
30
u/dart22 1d ago
I teach teenagers. One of my kids tells another that their dad is a "big robber with lots of guns," I pretend I didn't hear anything.
First: kids lie. Kindergarteners lie a lot. Second, if the kid's not lying, why do you want that mess in your life? You're not Batman. Let the cops be the cops, and you teach kids how to count apples.
11
u/ThatFloofyBish 1d ago
I work with kids and one time I kid told me that his mum drinks a glass of wine at breakfast. Turned out his mum was a nightshift nurse and there was nothing to worry about
10
u/Opposite-Fun-3670 1d ago
I told my first grade teacher my dad sold drugs. I later got called into the office and was questioned by many people about where he keeps them and i told them in the back of his car. Got home and a police car came shortly after. We then proceeded to have a long talk about how dad was an actual pharmaceutical salesman at one of the most well known company's here and that he didn't actually sell drugs out the back of his car, that's just were the samples were stored while traveling to the doctor offices.
8
u/Raven_Kairavi 1d ago
My brother once told teachers we had aliens in our backyard. Thinking they were talking about illegals, the cops came and searched our backyard..
8
u/wellnoyesmaybe 1d ago
My friend’s nephew was telling the kindergarden teacher how he had such a nice time with his aunt during the weekend, since they were sawing legs and whatnot. When she went to pick up the little guy the ladies were a bit confused and asked her what was it that she did for a living again. Prosthetics. She was preparing a leg-replacement for a customer.
9
u/gtownjim 1d ago
My autistic son told his teacher I tried to drown him . He would not get into the bath tub so I had picked him up and tried to lower him in to it . It took 2 months to get him and his brother back .The judge apologized to my Wife and I for Children's aids actions and gave them back.
26
u/ScientistSuitable600 2d ago
Have a regular old bloke who drives bodies to the coroner, then funeral home. Cheery old bloke, has the morbid humor mortuary types tend to have.
Uses an unmarked station wagon for transport an he's been held up by police more than a few times when casually joking about the bodies in the boot.
12
u/Winterpa1957 2d ago
I hope he got paid by the hour. Be a legitimate way of boosting the income.
16
u/ScientistSuitable600 2d ago
That was his main job, full time employment.
If i remember right the car was a company car and he always paid with a company fuel card. Just unmarked because it creates less fuss than people seeing you going round in a hearse or something that clearly says 'hey there's dead bodies in here'.
8
u/Chemical-Juice-6979 1d ago
The companies that operate around here use unmarked white panel vans. And I'm not sure what the pay rate is, but I know it's at least double what a chain restaurant line cook earns. I worked with a guy who quit his cooking job to drive for one of those companies. I got to meet his new coworkers a few months later. Had my father died a day earlier or a day later, that former line cook would have been the one who picked up dad's body. That would have been so awkward for me
3
u/ScientistSuitable600 1d ago
Yeah funny that. Because this guy was the one who delivered my grandfather to the coroner and funeral home, was literally in the back of his car when he dropped in for a coffee. Was an awkward day.
And yeah white vans are common here too, it's often a bit of a mishmash of various cars that can realistically move a body without being obvious
25
u/WrenchWanderer 2d ago
To be fair, it’s good to do a non-violent/non-destructive search for this stuff, if you ignore what kids say then you have more cases of child abuse victims not believed because it’s “just kids making stuff up”
34
u/mafiaknight 1d ago edited 1d ago
Read a r/olderthanyouthinkiam where a security guard attempted to kidnap the MC for parking on the same street as the school
and dragging her there.* The staff was ecstatic to FINALLY have an adult victim so they could get rid of the creep at long last. The numerous complaints from teenage girls fell on deaf ears b/c they're still children...Edit: Found it!
Also: corrections for accuracy.
*it was a phone call, not in person meeting8
u/backfire10z 1d ago
Ok, but numerous reports of being kidnapped are staunchly different from one 5 year old saying their dad has a gun
5
u/mafiaknight 1d ago
More sexual harassment. Just the one kidnapping. It's just the kidnapping that got him got.
2
8
6
7
u/ThurstonHowellDa3d 1d ago
Must have been someplace other than the USA, here they search your house to make sure you have guns.
6
u/sparkle_tiffy 1d ago
My youngest told his teacher his dad pulled his hair and that was why mom (me) shaved it off. Teacher contacted DCFS. That was fun.
4
u/Fuglymofo 1d ago
My son told his teacher that his Dad had a big gun and was planning to shoot the Queen
I was in The Royal Artillery and we were practising a 21 Gun Salute for the opening ceremony of the Commonwealth Games
Luckily the teacher asked me first about it
5
u/GREY_SOX 1d ago edited 1d ago
My mates kid took his weed stash to the schools drug awareness day!
Thought it was some kind of show and tell.
4
5
u/SeiyoNoShogun 1d ago
When I was in kindergarten, I told our kindergarten teacher that when my parents fart it stinks. I have no idea why I wanted to share that information but I vividly remember being very excited about it.
3
u/hazeHl49 1d ago
How shitty of a teacher do you habe to be to straight up believe something out of the mouth of a 5 year old. Once again, the kid is not the most stupid in this situation
2
u/unnatural_cornholio 1d ago
Considering how many children are abused or grow up in really bad environments, it's always better to be safe than sorry. If they don't investigate and the kid is being 100% truthful... well, you can imagine how that'd be a massive problem.
1
3
u/Character-Carpet7988 1d ago
Back in the day, when I was a kid (and thus stupid) in the elementary school, we got a simple excercise where we had to finish a sentence. At that time, my mom was refurbrishing our apartment, dealing with a lot of new furniture, and it got a bit stressful.
Then I got that excercise where I was supposed to finish the sentence "my mom will be happy when..." and I wrote "we'll get the bed".
Not too far from my teacher calling social services on her, lol :D
8
u/DelirousDoc 1d ago
I don't think this is how it works.
Teachers are mandatory reporters in most states for things like child abuse but police aren't going to get a full on search investigation just from a second had account of a 5 year old reported by a teacher.
Shoot I am not even sure they could get clearance for further investigation into the incident because a "big robber with lots of guns" sounds exactly like a kid either exaggerating or not understanding a situation.
Did they live in an area that had a string of unsolved robberies?
Sounds like a lie made up on internet.
4
2
2
u/zorggalacticus 1d ago
Good thing my kid doesn't go to school talking about what I do in GTA. "Miss teacher, last night my daddy killed 3 hookers and took all their money..." That won't end well. Lol
1
1
u/sirlafemme 22h ago
Imagine being no-knock raided and killed by the police (if you are black in the USA) because of a 5 year old.
1
u/YOUNGMANSPERMLOVER 4h ago
You have to be very careful with kids and explain to them what is really going in all day to day living. They can take just a few words and have things twisted around so bad but really not knowing how others are taking them. They don’t know any better. They believe they are telling things from their mind in a way that others know what they are saying but just not getting the words out right.
1
u/OkOutlandishness1363 4h ago
When my step son(16 now) was in his first year of Montessori, I came to pick him up at the end of the day and the teacher said she and the headmistress would like a word. They told me that the police had been called to the school because a woman walking by saw my SS pounding on the window screaming “HELP HELP HELP” and before the teacher could stop him, the lady on the street had already noticed him and called 911. I personally had to keep myself from cracking up laughing in their faces at the mental picture of it because they for sure didn’t think it was funny. I have a great story about my SS in middle school using a pay phone to make collect calls. If anyone wants to hear it lmk.
Edit; hit post too soon
0
1
u/hundreddollar 1d ago
Both of these stories share a common theme and that theme is that both of them didn't happen.
1
1
u/MadGod69420 1d ago
Me pulling an old dusty cob webbed covered wooden spoon with holes in it from a deeply buried box in the basement:
“…has it truly come to this? I swore I would lock this away from the world and break the unholy cycle…”
2.8k
u/kmj420 2d ago
First kid=liar
Second kid= not a liar