TDLR at the end.

So I just had surgery on my stomach and intestines almost 2 weeks ago.

Because of the surgery, I have to adhere to a very strict diet until I’m fully healed. If I stray from the diet, it could cause severe complications and possibly lead to death. So for the first two weeks after surgery, I can only eat (drink?) a full liquid diet. The most solid thing I can eat is pudding. I can’t even have soup with any chunks of veg/meat in it, even if they’re soft. There’s not a lot of variety to choose from and I’m not having a good time AT ALL. Plus I’m still having pain from the procedure and some nausea and I’ve had to go in for IV fluids and iron twice now.

Prior to surgery, I meal prepped for myself and for the family so I wouldn’t have to worry about it after. I made meals for myself for every stage of the diet and with specific macros/ingredients to meet my needs and comply with my other health problems - for example, I have celiac disease so everything has to be gluten free. I also follow a low sugar/low carb diet so everything had to comply with that as well.

I also made meals for him and our son - meals SPECIFICALLY requested by him. I stocked up on snacks they liked and asked for. We also have a fairly strict budget right now, so I made everything from scratch to save some money. About 1/4 of everything I made is in the freezer attached to our fridge for convenience sake, the rest is in the deep freeze in the garage.

So most of the meals in the house freezer are gone so I went out to the garage to restock. ALL of the meals I’d made for myself are GONE. Just completely emptied out. I’m really upset because I have no energy right now to make more - living off of liquids and having anemia will do that to a person. My diet is (hopefully!) progressing to soft solids tomorrow, so I was really excited to be able to eat some of the food I’d made.

I asked him about it and he blamed it on our son first. Which I know is BS because the kid hates all of my special food with a passion lol. There’s no way he’d be sneaking my food. So I questioned my husband again. He admitted to it, said he’d been taking my meals to work as his lunch because he was “too tired to make his own lunch” before work. He has always made his own lunch up until now. He also said he was “bored” with the lunches he makes and my food provided “variety”.

I am EXHAUSTED. This recovery period is kicking my ass. Before surgery, I ran a mile every day. Now, I barely have enough energy to walk up the stairs. I’m not supposed to lift more than 10 lbs. I’m not supposed to do anything more strenuous than walking. Even taking a shower is tiring right now. The anemia, dehydration, and lack of proper nutrition is making it worse.

So when he admitted to taking my food, I just started crying. He hasn’t been much help after surgery, my son (11yo) has been doing all the lifting for me and helping me with chores and cooking. When I started crying, he got disgusted and told me I was overreacting and being a baby. He refuses to make me new meals, he refuses to help me make new meals, he says it’s been almost 2 weeks and I should be able to do stuff on my own.

At this point, I’m seriously considering divorce. I mean, my son and I are already doing everything on our own already. And I know my kid won’t eat my diet food. Am I overreacting?

ALSO: I just found out he’s raided my non-perishable food stores in the pantry. It was mostly sugar free jello and pudding, stuff I can eat on the liquid diet. Pretty much everything is gone, except for some sugar free orange jello.

TDLR: I am on a special diet due health issues and recent surgery. I meal prepped meals for myself and for the family so I wouldn’t have to deal with it while recovering from surgery. My husband ate ALL of my diet food without telling me and says I’m overreacting for being upset. Am I overreacting?

I deleted my previous post, here’s a brief summary: My MIL is demanding all of my husbands things only leaving me with 1-2 items. She said she needs it within a week and a half. She also was implying that my role in his life was small and insignificant.

I text her this morning that I felt hurt because it seemed like my relationship with her son was being minimized. I told her I understand she’s grieving deeply, but that doesn’t mean my grief should be downplayed or compared to hers. I also pointed out that just because she’s experienced loss before, it doesn’t mean everyone grieves the same way, and no one can tell someone else when they should "get over" their spouse.

I clarified that I never refused to give her any of his things, I just needed time to process everything. It felt like I was being demanded, rather than asked. I told her I’ll decide what I’m ready to part with, and send those items when I’m ready, but that I need time to grieve and process everything first.

Her response was to call me disrespectful, and tell me if I don’t get it to her by the time she said, she won’t need it anymore. She also said she’ll show her family the text and we’ll “go from there.” Not sure what that meant because after that there will be no need to talk if you don’t want the items anymore.

I don’t know what to tell her. I’m not ready and it’s a lot to sort through. I’m having health issues of my own and she can’t seem to understand that. She also accidentally sent me a screenshot of my message back to me lol. Just wanted to update for the ones who asked.

TLDR: My MIL is demanding nearly all of my late husband's belongings and gave me a week and a half to hand them over, implying my role in his life was insignificant. I told her I need time to process everything and grieve, and then I’ll give them to her but she called me disrespectful and said if I don’t meet her deadline, she will no longer want want the items and will show her family the texts. Now I’m unsure how to respond since I’m not ready and dealing with my own health issues.

TLDR: I caught my spouse sending dick pics to OF girls for months after I gave birth. It happened 3 years ago, and I can't seem to get over it. I felt really violated, especially since he was the one who wanted a baby. I expected him to be more emotionally supportive during that vulnerable time. He apologized and deleted the OF account, but I just don't trust him anymore.

My partner and I have been together for 6 years. We had a great sex life. For fun, we started to incorporate watching porn once in a while. I honestly had never watched much in my life before getting with my parter.

After a while, watching porn during sex became habitual. It was fun at first, but then I started to feel like we were losing connection. But, I talked myself out of this, wanting to keep it fun and not to sound insecure about it being on all the time. (Like, does he not find me attractive enough?) We do end up talking about it, and start having more balance of sex with and without porn.

4 years ago, my partner and I decide we want to have a family. I get pregnant, and everything is great. Towards the end of pregnancy, we do start to become more habitual with porn again, as it honestly just made having sex easier in my third trimester. My husband found a model he liked on Instagram, and asked if we could start an OF account as a couple so we could start following her content. Sure, seemed fine to me. I was under the impression that this was our account, and something we did exclusively as a couple.

I had an emergency c-section, so sex was off the table for me after giving birth. But, while I was healing from the surgery, I would still be intimate with my partner in other ways while perusing free OF content and whatever porn he'd find.

Despite being sleep deprived, having a traumatic birth and difficult breastfeeding journey, I still found ways to prioritize intimacy with my partner at least 3x a week postpartum (which is a lot when you're in the thick of it)

Two month into parenthood: One night, after putting our baby to bed, my partner and I start to get it on- and we get interrupted by the baby waking up. I go in to settle him, and then come back out to my husband to see the laptop open to a naked selfie of my husband. I ask him what that was for, and he quickly closes it and says it was for me.

I get suspicious, and later open OF. Afterall, it was an account we opened together as a couple.

I found months and months worth of chats with several women. He'd sent naked pictures to several of them. What's worst is he would log on in the morning when I was with our son in the next room. He was even logging on the OF girl's third party sites for live streams.

I asked him about the OF account, and if he used it when we weren't together. I was hoping he'd be honest, and I 'd have a chance to hear his side of things... but he told me he only used it with me. So, I told him I saw everything. He was really apologetic. Even though we've talked about OF, and he's since deleted it- as well as unfollowed IG models, and all that. I still can't seem to trust him. I don't know if I'm in love with him anymore, He's completely unromantic in every way. (I just had another birthday and wedding anniversary this month without much notice from him). He claimed he would work on us, he would step up. But, things stay the same and I've learned to not expect much from him.

I just felt so violated. So hurt. So ugly. Especially right after giving birth to our son, I would have hoped this time in our lives would have brought us closer together, and it's certainly when I needed his emotional support the most.

I took a screenshot of one of the most incriminating chats. I still have it saved in a folder to this day. I accidentally opened it the other day, which triggered this post. I want to stay together for the sake of our son, but I really don't know how to be happy in this relationship.

My landlord and I live right next to each other and share a driveway. He and I knew each other before he bought both houses from a mutual friend and he gives me a really good deal on rent. A couple weeks or so ago he put up a Trump sign in the shared driveway, but it’s in front of my house far enough away from his that it looks like I put it there.

About a week ago I asked him in person if he could move it. I told him that I’ve always made a point not to display political things because I’m not comfortable doing so, and it looks like I’m the one who put it there. I don’t remember EXACTLY what he said but it was something to the effect of he’d consider it.

It’s been around a week and the sign is still there, so I texted him about it, and this is his response (so far). Am I overreacting?

Some background: I (25F) and my partner (25M) have been together a little over a year, i’m his current longest relationship. My partner, we’ll call him Joseph, has never had a great relationship with his father, we’ll call him Steve, due to steve’s drinking. I have always empathized with my partner over this due to my own issues with alcoholic parents. Last year his father decided to stop drinking, to which i encouraged Joseph to try to take the opportunity to better his relationship with Steve. Anyways, Steve consistently will use Joseph for things around his house (ie. fixing his car, stacking firewood, so on) leading Joseph to feel like an “errand boy” and not like a son.

Recently Joseph has picked up on the fact that steve has been drinking again. I was in the car the other night when Steve called joseph to ask him to do more favors over the weekend. Joseph took a long pause, due to not wanting to, but ultimately said sure. Which led to his father making comments how Joseph “needs OP’s approval” (i did not say a word). After that, Steve sent me these texts. I do not want my partner to cut off his father, but i do think a very stern talk needs to be had. My partner yelled at his dad only after me getting very upset that I wasn’t being defended. Him yelling did not stop steve from continuing days after, texting steve that i am “poison, the worst girlfriend ever, etc”

Edit: i have 2 phones due to one of them not working, and the only affordable option I could do is open a second line. i cannot turn the other phone service off until that phone is paid off which i cannot due at this point in time. my old phone is typically dead unless needed for something. my partner does have access to both phones, if he ever were to feel like he needed to look at them.

I've been dating my boyfriend for seven months and have moved into his apartment. He's passionate about his 2011 Corvette, but the engine blew up due to a mechanic's error. He requested I lend him $16,000, which I deemed excessive. With $41,000 in savings, we've argued about this for two days. As a barista making $16.25 an hour, I feel pressured. Meanwhile, he earns $26 an hour and has a brand-new 2023 Toyota 4Runner, while I drive a 2005 Cadillac.

Edit he grew up in a wealthy family with doctor parents, and they own a multimillion dollar home on the lake. I grew up in a 2 bedroom run down trailer home with mentally ill parents. I told him our upbringings are drastically different and it was very inappropriate of him to even ask me for that type of money.

Another edit, for the people asking “how I have 40k saved for my wage. I have been working since I was 14-15 I am now (21) and lived with my mom, I also didn’t own a vehicle so that helped. another thing I forgot to mention was he also receives $4k from the military.

I could really use some advice right now because I’m feeling all sorts of emotions.

So, my boyfriend and I have been dating for a while, and he’s about to go off to college. Recently, he told me that he thinks we should take a break once he moves. He says he still wants to try long-distance but thinks it's best if we give each other space for a while. He didn’t really explain why, just that it would be "better" for us.

I'm feeling so confused. On one hand, I get that college is a huge life change, and maybe he’s scared about balancing a relationship and everything else. But on the other hand, it feels like he's already halfway out the door, and I don’t know if I can handle that uncertainty.

Has anyone else been through something like this? Should I respect his request for space, or does this sound like a slow breakup? I love him and want to make long-distance work, but I’m worried this "break" is just his way of trying to let me go slowly. 😔

Any advice or similar experiences would really help. Thanks in advance ❤️

I know the whole.. don’t go digging because you’ll find something you don’t want to see.. BUT I dug. And I found his Reddit, I went digging through his comments too and just found a lot of sexual comments he made on other women’s posts. Made my stomach churn, my heart broke and I feel sick. I can’t even imagine what the chats or messages or his following is like on his actual Reddit account and my mind is on overdrive. Would I be over reacting if I leave him over this? It’s basically cheating.. and now I’m constantly comparing myself to those women. I just can’t see him in the same light anymore, it’s like he’s a whole different guy at this point.

My boss booked an Air BnB and last minute decides to cut cost by having the men/women coworkers ( 5+) all share the house. The house has one bathroom with two bedrooms and two beds. We were to share this for 30 +days. I refused to go cause it felt like a set up. I would have shown up and not had a place to sleep. Now I just want to quit I’m so angry.

Broke up with gf of 2 yrs because she gave her phone number to another guy.

For some background about 5 months into dating she lied to me about the last time she spoke to her ex. I know he had been reaching out from time to time and when I asked her when the last time he reached out was she said about a month ago. Later that evening she was sending me a video on Snapchat and I see a message sent the previous night from her to him and when I asked her she said she forgot. This was the first red flag and where my trust was initially damaged. Honestly I thought about ending it then but tried to look past it because I honestly didn’t think she wanted to get back with her ex and was being nice by just replying to his message but the deceit is what bothered me.

Fast forward a few months and we move in together(I know premature) and one night I see her texting some guy. I ask her who it was and she says an old friend. I then did something I have never done before which was look through her texts. I know I shouldn’t have but I think that first situation broke my trust and I had to try and revalidate it. Everything in the text was pretty normal old friends catching up except when she said I miss your voice. That wasn’t something I would say to another girl and even if meant innocently I felt like that was crossing a line.

I should note she did take accountability and apologize both times but yesterday a guy who had reached out about 6 months ago(again an old friend) telling her how he used to have a crush on her and asking if she was single reached out again and asked for her number. She gave it to him and then supposedly deleted the message but he still saw it and texted her. I don’t see how that happens but anyways I decided to end it. Again I don’t think she had any bad intentions and don’t feel threatened by the guy but more so am tired of my boundaries being crossed.

Sorry for the long post.

tw: lots of food and body judgements, don't read if that's hard for you please

update: my husband and I clearly both feel like shit about this conversation and he texted me a really nice apology today, which is something. But I'm still really hurt by the way he communicated all of this, and yes the judgement. I'm going to push for couple's counseling like some of you suggested- it's absolutely true that it's not my weight, it's the way the conversation went. I was thinking during it that if a friend talked to me that way, we wouldn't be friends anymore. So wild what people expect their supposed loved ones to absorb.

I also really appreciate the kind words and advice, especially from men and women who have kids. It's helpful to see this through your perspectives. No he doesn't get up with the baby, yes I'm still breastfeeding and waking up 3-4 times, depending. I went to my doctor for exhaustion a few months ago and my bloodwork came back 'normal' so I'm not sure where else there is to go there, it could just be being older and not sleeping well. In hindsight and reading this, I really laid on the "I have a sweet tooth!" and even calling myself a couch potato is only in comparison to his lifestyle, because I thought we could read through the responses together which might help. I work out three times a week which is HARD since it depends on him getting home and coordinating classes etc. Working out around my two demanding kids would be laughable. There's no way. So I'm not an actual couch potato (also how with two kids), just not driven my whole life about fitness the way he is. Also he really is naturally slim-- he's one of those people who gets skinnier when he doesn't work out. His exercise is more about building muscle, there's just so little fat on him (and his mom)-- it makes a half-German like me incredibly jealous!

My partner (41M) and I (43F, mostly SAHM) have been struggling the last while, really I'd say kids (4M and 11 month old baby F) and the Pandemic have stressed our relationship, plus two big moves, it's also just been so hard to make time for each other when we're in survival mode. I've been trying to break out of our roommates set-up by bringing our baby girl into our bed when she wakes up the first time as I've fallen into cosleeping with her in her room, because she wakes a lot more if I'm not there.

So last night. We'd watched a show and were chatting and I brought out a bowl and two forks for the piece of pie I'd warmed up. (I'd bought a small pie a few days before as a special treat for a little playdate for my son and his friend-- a little section was left that I thought should get eaten before it went bad) It was later, about 9:30 or 10 p.m. A few nights before he'd brought us each a bowl of ice cream while hanging out and I thought it was such a cute gesture.

Well last night, it was not. My partner said it was too late for that much sugar and grew quiet and while I tried chatting with him he was pretty shut down and said he was going to bed. I was pushing into what was wrong and why was he upset and that's when we got into it. He started with saying this conversation never ends well for us but I was very hey, we should be able to talk about things. For context, we've absolutely fought about food before. My husband is a healthy guy who will eat almonds at night for snacks, has trained and did an inronman before we met, is naturally tall and slim and does active outdoor activities a couple times a week if conditions are right. I'm the female couch potato version of him ha-- I'm short, naturally carry more weight in my hips, stomach and thighs and carry extra weight since having our daughter. I probably weigh 30 more pounds now then when we met. I think it's important to work out, but I also love to bake (which I don't have much time for the last few years) and I like sweets, I'll even admit here it's my low-key addiction. I don't drink alcohol very often, I don't want it. But if someone handed me a hot chocolate every night I'd be thrilled. It's just what I like.

It started with him saying he's concerned for my health, and thinks it's important for us to be in good shape to avoid disease and be around for our kids (true true) and then he talked about me and sugar. He said it's the equivalent of someone having 3 beers a night and having a beer belly, or at least, that was the analogy he was working with when I stopped him. I was like wow so I have a beer belly-- this is not the same. You don't understand the hormones, the breastfeeding, everything I've gone through to have these kids, it's not like I independently have extra fat, that's not the same. Also FYI I'd lost some weight post first kid but not all, but very slowly-- so I have more of a "give it time" approach. And he finally just said it's not attractive. Basically saying he's not attracted to me now, which felt like a blow to my self-esteem and the good feelings I was starting to have about my body and working out again lately. I told him what he was saying is hurting the very thing he talks about, which is that he'd like more intimacy-- I'm like I need to feel confident and beautiful to want to have sex and you've just hurt that, if I know you aren't attracted to me why would I want to be naked in front of you? Like that doesn't feel safe.

He also said that the way I was being defensive is just like his dad to his mom, who have spent years fighting about his dad's lowkey alcoholism and weight. And he thinks I deflect and deny instead of owning my issues, like he very much foresees me being like Yes you're right I'll cut back on sugar, I eat too much. And I had to say like hey you're not the food police-- I don't want this to be an issue but because of this vibe with you, I find myself feeling weird about food, like I don't want you to know what I'm eating. And I don't like that, I want to be able to eat what I eat without feeling shame or like you're judging me for it. To be clear, I make healthy dinners for our family nearly every night, healthy breakfasts too-- most snacks are healthyish with fruits and nuts etc-- but I'm totally fine with getting a donut as a treat, or eating chocolate at night after our kids are asleep. It's not every night, but it's often-It's my wine.

He also had a tangent about yoga not being difficult because I'd told him about a Yin yoga class I went to early on while trying out different studios- basically saying like hey you're not really working out. So I told him hey did you forget? I just did a strength class with weights and bands and that's the day I came home and was like hey I found endorphins again! (it was great) So what are you even talking about? Like I'm actively trying here, and what you're saying is the opposite of supportive.

I was sitting there feeling miserable about my husband thinking I am unattractive but also pissed, like what's even the point, this feels incompatible and cruel. How do I get him to see how hurtful it is to tell me he isn't attracted to me, and to understand what I've gone through to have kids. And while I think he has a point, about hoping for us to be healthy, this feels so much more destructive and unkind than that. Or am I wrong, and I'm denying I have a problem? Like how bad is it to enjoy chocolate and treats but make otherwise healthyish food and workout and just not stress over it? Is he unreasonable or am I?

I am really hurt because of the lack of response from my husband when I confessed to him my traumatic past. A bit of background. I am going to keep it short but I had a traumatic childhood. I endured all sorts of abuse. In order to survive I would go into my mental safe space to numb the pain of whatever was happening to my body. I had such a hard time dealing with what happened to me throughout my childhood that I made up a story about my childhood and stuck with it like it was my real life. Because of an event last year, all those memories came back and I could not ignore them this time. As a result of that I went nc with my family. I also wanted to go see a therapist but it is just so hard for me to talk about what happened. A couple of weeks ago, we had a difficult conversation with my husband as we are going through a rough patch. He accused me of keeping my family away. So I blurted it all out. It was the first time I ever spoke about it. I am not really sure what I expected but my husband just heard me, comforted me while I was crying and then kind of forgot about it. I feel invisible, unheard, unseen, unloved after my confession. Is this normal? I mean I did dump a ton on him but his silence kind of reinforces my resolution to not talk about it. It also makes me wonder whether my husband loves me at all. So, am I overreacting?

A few days ago I come home to my lady and our kid . One of if not the best moment of a long monotonous day . Well today I bend the corner greeted by my fiancés voice but not my daughter running up to me . Pretty ODD!! Well I bend the corner and find something a bit more unsettling. Her ex boyfriend is sitting on my couch playing with my daughter . For context they’ve been friends for over 15 years and tried to make a relationship out of it just before her and I got together. Well fast forward 2.5 years he’s apparently back in the picture and as she puts it wants to rekindle their friendship ( I have it on good authority that that’s not ALL he wants ) I have mentioned my discomfort to her before but she always says I’m making a big deal out of nothing . I’ve tried to talk it out but today seems like the last straw. Am I overreacting for wanting to call off the wedding ?

Update ** I couldn’t sleep cause we’d been arguing through the night when we argue she usually falls asleep on the couch I came down to get a drink of water and she was gone . Presumably with her “friend”. I called called and called no answer only to receive a text that says she needs space because I’m being over bearing . I am done calling the wedding off and requesting a paternity test

My girlfriend (29F) and myself (28M) have been going through a rift in the relationship and I honestly don’t know if I’m overreacting at this point. I recently went out of state for work for no more than 60 hours and my last night out of town I decided to call my girlfriend. We both have some pretty sh*tty trust issues from previous relationships so going out of town for work isn’t easy for neither of us. To reassure and appease her fears, I told her she could call me all day everyday while I was out there along with FaceTime for the “entire” duration of my work trip along with my exact itinerary for flights and bnbs I was staying in with my work group. Sounds kind of ridiculous but what I do for work literally allows it and calls for it so I didn’t see the harm in it, anything I could do to make my girlfriend feel safe and assured.

She was driving home from finishing up some work herself at the time when I called and we talked on the phone for a bit. She expressed that it was raining pretty heavy back home at the time and she wasn’t feeling safe to continue driving so she decided to pullover to let the rain die out. She’s not the best driver and her car’s bumper is in pretty bad shape too so it’s totally understandable. Out of curiosity I checked the weather back home to see what’s up and she wasn’t kidding it was indeed raining like crazy. While she was pulled over we continued to talk on the phone for a bit longer before she expressed she wanted to try and re-secure her bumper back into place before she hit the road again so I told her to give me a call when she got home so I know she is okay.

She said she would also said she would be as quick as she can since the rain died down a bit and she felt more safe to drive. We said our byes and I got off the phone to let her do her thing. With it being pretty late, the weather being pretty sht and her being a bad driver, I got pretty worried about her trip home so I checked her location to see about how long it would take for her to get home, which was about 15-20 minutes from her current location. I didn’t think nothing of it because I expected to hear from her around that time frame but an hour and a half passed and I hadn’t received a call from her. I figured she was still trying to snap the bumper back into place but what starting concerning me was , the time difference between us at the time was 2 hours and it was well past midnight for the both of us at that point. I got so fuking worried because the last time I checked her location she was just about 15-20 min away from home so why in the hell haven’t I heard from her in over an hour and a half !?

I decided to pull up her location and her pin hadn’t moved from the last spot she was in when I checked earlier. Location glitches sometimes so you gotta refresh it, I refreshed it 5 damn times and her pin was still in the same spot. When I switched to satellite mode it showed that she had been at a damn apartment complex this entire f*ckn time… wtf.

I called her immediately while refreshing and looking at her location ( I know I sound like a crazy boyfriend but you gotta stay with me on this one) .

The phone rang only twice before she picked up and she didn’t sound in any sort of trouble which was a relief but my gut was feeling a little gnarly still. I asked her “what are you doing” while I’m looking at her location and without hesitation she lied and said. “ I’m at home baby”. Mind you the last time I spoke to her she was in her car and when your phone is connected to Bluetooth in her car and you receive an incoming call, a little beep noise plays that you can hear over the phone when the call is connected. When I called back I didn’t hear the beep Instead I heard the sounds of her voice echoing of walls as if she was inside a room or hallway of some sort. Seeing that she was indeed not home nor in her car made my brain snap and my chest got so damn heavy and starting hurting. I told her “yeah no you’re not” she said “what how do you kno.. I hung up the phone before she could finish… she called 7 times in a row before I picked up the call.

When I picked up the phone again you could hear that she was in the parking garage back home running towards the door keys jangling and everything, “hey baby I’m home now baby”. She flew the f*ck home when I called her out on her lie. It took her quite literally only 15 minutes to make it home after I ended our call … 🥁

I ripped her three new ones over the phone trying to hold my anger back as much as possible and asked her why she lied about being home and what it was she was doing at the other location, these are the responses I got:

“I didn’t want you to get mad at me for not going home right away”

“You have my location so I know you know I wasn’t home ! I was just kidding but you hung up the phone before I could say so ! ”

“I was in my gfs area and she’s going through a break up right now so I decided to stop by and visit with her but that sounds so suspicious and I didn’t want you to get the wrong idea”

Lol she gave me every idea except the “right idea” I just went silent and all she kept saying was “I’m sorry” “baby I’m sorry” “I’m sorry” “I’m sorry”….

Lets all be adults here, lying about your whereabouts past midnight to your significant other with no hesitation whatsoever spells nothing but trouble.

mega cheater activities and behavior is what it actually spells

I told her:

“only a complete fckn dumbass would believe this story… it hurts to know you think I’m that stupid” She pleaded over and over that she could prove she was just hanging out with her gf and she took “accountability”over and over and over “recognizing” how bad the sht looks.

We already went through a few snags early on in the relationship but we got through them fairly easy if I’m being honest with you but there’s something about her lying in that capacity that made me question literally everything she has ever said. It also kind of made me checkout of the relationship almost immediately as sad as that sounds. I was more mad at how easy it was for her to lie to me as opposed to the actual lie itself and what it was insinuating. I also hate the fact that she has expressed great distain and disgust for that kind of behavior and people altogether on multiple occasions and has also ripped me a new one myself for behavior of mine she wasn’t tolerating, so the hypocrisy from her is unreal in my eyes right now.

I returned home the following night and to break the ice after ignoring/arguing on the phone all day before my flight I insisted she picked me up from the airport. She eagerly agreed. She was waiting for me at the arrival terminal and I had a hard time trying to muster up the courage/want to be affectionate with her. She tried to hug me and I wasn’t having it. She could tell I was still super pissed and upset about the other night so she offered to take me to the place she was at and meet her friend to prove her innocence but expressed we had to do it fast because “her friend was moving really soon and won’t be staying there anymore”…. I was over it I asked her to just take me home and she did.

When we got back home we sat outside in the car for awhile in dead silence. I want to say we sat in silence for a good 20 before I opened my mouth and asked her “how do we fix this” she sadly said “I don’t know” we went through the previous night all over again just going in circles and circles getting nowhere. After we exhausted ourselves again over the matter I told her we need to practice time apart from each other to rebuild the trust.

I need to be able to take her word again without hesitation and not question where she’s at or if she’s telling the truth or not. She doesn’t like being at a distance if it can be helped, she was hesitant at first but agreed. After that we agreed to drop it for the moment… but………….

I wasn’t born this fckn morning so I’m on high alert with them as of now, you can tell I’m struggling to go back to how I was feeling before the fck up happened. To quench my thirst for absolute true closure on the matter, I had intended to surprise test their truthfulness so my first pop up test was randomly going to the place she was at when she said she was home.

So a few days ago things start to simmer down a little and I think it’s the perfect opportunity to drop in at said place. I asked if she wanted to go for a drive and she said yes. We hoped in and I started driving to the spot without her knowledge. When we started getting close to the location she asked where we were going and I told her with a smug ass smile “oh where going to go visit your friends place” she didn’t say anything but “ do you need her old address or new one” “the old one baby”… she gives me her address and its an exact match with what I pinned from her location when I caught her lying so I’m like wtf ??,

I was sure she was going to try and give me a bogus address. We get to the actual place and I tell her to take me to her friends unit and she does so without hesitation. When we arrive to the unit you can indeed tell somebody literally just moved tf out. Her friend had left all her old sh*t she didn’t want to take with her in front of her door for maintenance to deal with, “old girly bed frame old girly night stand, severely pissed on used cat scratch post… her story definitely checked out. We knocked on the door 50 times to make sure nobody was home the place was empty.

My girlfriend smiled and was like “I told you I was telling the truth !!” (after telling a heinous lie smh 🤣) In my head I felt immediate relief but I just can’t get past it for some reason I don’t know if it’s my gut or fear at this point, something still feels off plus the notion of her being happy after being caught in a lie made me feel some way lmao. My last thing I have do is go through her phone…. I’m big on respecting privacy and ironically I follow the mantra:

“don’t be with them if you have to do all that”

But seeing her story checkout made me hesitate and think:

“I don’t want to lose my person over a dumbass misunderstanding give them a chance”

After I go through her phone I can determine if trust is something I want to rebuild or if I have to walk away from the relationship because my baggage is rearing it’s ugly head right now out of fear that I’m going to get absolutely mentally and emotionally porked by my girlfriends antics.

So people of Reddit am I overreacting to my girlfriend lying about her whereabouts ? Anyone and everyone please share advice/similar situations etc it’s all super helpful for me and something I’m going to digest going forward. Thank you all so much in advance ! 🙏🎉

My (24F) partner (24M) keeps doing this thing where he says he was going to do/offer me something that I enjoy/makes me happy, but now he won't. These are things that I enjoy that he does not, like shopping or aesthetic cafes etc. We do these sometimes but it's like I have to fight and beg for it and go through this emotional stress. We also do things he likes that I don't enjoy that much because I know there needs to be give and take. I just wish he would do these things (sometimes, not that often) without creating a stressful game, and just do it willingly and calmly because it makes me happy.

Example: we're chatting at the end of the day, I mention I have plans with a friend at the weekend, he says "I was gonna take you to (place I like) on that day". He had never mentioned this intent prior to this moment. The issue is, he then is not willing to move that to another day. He thinks it's a funny joke (because my reaction is probably amusing to him) and says in a teasing way "nah nah I offered it to you but you're busy so missed your chance". I will add this isn't a ploy to get me to cancel on the friend to spend time with him, he just seems to seize each opportunity to do this.

Example 2: after an argument once we're calm again, he might say "I was going to offer to take you (place) but then you hurt me/upset me/whatever, so now I won't".

I have this pet peeve since childhood where I absolutely hate when someone tells me they were going to do/suggest/offer something etc, after it has been established that it can no longer happen. It just makes me feel disappointed and I would rather have never known about it because then I don't have to grieve the loss of something that could have happened, but is not. There just seems no point to me to even mention it.

I will say, we do do the things that I like from time to time, sometimes it is planned and sometimes it is a surprise to me, which is nice. But usually that will follow after the above episode and after I've been through all the feelings of being upset about being told I could have enjoyed something but "missed my chance". At this point I'm drained, don't react much to it and don't trust that he ever actually intended to do it when he dangles a carrot in front of me.

AIO or is this kind of toxic behaviour?

People at my job keep putting all types of things in front of one of our fire extinguishers: stacks of wooden pallets, backroom equipment, freight, etc. I have been repeatedly filling out safety forms and trying to remind people not to do that, but it keeps happening. My friends say I am caring about this too much, but I think it’s dangerous that the extinguisher closest to our boxes of freight is often blocked.

I’ve thought about just straight up calling or emailing the Fire Marshall about this. I don’t feel comfortable with it blocked but it seems like everyone else is and it makes me feel like maybe I am overreacting.

When I was a child, my parents were poor, they often had men 18-30 babysit me and my brothers. Some of those men SA’d me as a child, I’m nearly 40 now, and my father knows about what happened, and still chooses to be friends with one of the men.

When I was giving his weekly haircut the entire time he was talking about my abusers garden and how the tomatoes are SO GREAT, now I feel sick when I look at tomatoes

Yes, I have CPTSD, requesting they not talk about my abuser to me is reasonable right?

I hate my life, every day is the worst day of my life, if I didn’t have children I don’t think I could get through

Am I overreacting? I can’t control who he is friends with (even if it makes him a disgusting person & a terrible father) but I shouldn’t have to hear stories about my abuser either.

About a month a go my roommate (of 7 years) and I got a cat. Her co-workers cat had kittens and we wanted to take two. It ended up being that the solid black one I wanted went to another home so we ended up with one cat (the one she liked). We didnt pay anything for this cat. Our plan was to get her all vaccinated and get her a friend from the humane society. Solid black like I originally wanted

My roommate payed for the first vet visit, I was going to pay for the second and third. We split costs on all the necessities and toys.

I noticed that my roommate will butt in on a lot of things. In the past month I've noticed that if I go to feed her dinner and get all the stuff out my roommate will make sure she's the one giving the cat the food, I've fed her wet food maybe three times because of this. If I get the harness out to take the cat outside she will grab it from me so she can put it on the cat. If I mention something cute the cat did it's all "oh she does that with me all the time"

Since we're getting close to the cats second round of vaccines I mentioned getting the cat a friend. Turns out now my roommate doesn't want a second cat.

Her reasoning is that if we end up not living together in the future it would be cruel splitting the cats up. Which I get but where was this reasoning when the original plan was to get two.

She also decided to drop "she's my cat anyways, and if that does happen she's coming with me"

Now I feel like something I was happy and excied about has been ripped away from me. I don't get a cat. The animal I've made a bond with isn't mine. I just live with someone who has a pet.

Am I overreacting for feeling bettayed. And for now wanting to tell her I'm not spending any more money on this cat. And since it's now her cat she can cover food, litter, and vet visit from now on?

Ok context- I (20f) am living with my ex best friend (21f) in a 2 bedroom apartment style dorm on campus. Last year we were really close and then had a HUGE falling out at the end of last year and over the summer, but our housing assignments were already set so we aren’t able to change them. She spends most of her time at her bfs (22m)(my other ex best friend who I lost in the same falling out) dorm and really only comes to our apt to sleep and get ready for the next day. I found out yesterday that I was exposed to Covid over the weekend. I had very minor symptoms that had been there for weeks that more closely matched my seasonal allergies. My Roomate asked that I wear a mask in common spaces, which I was totally fine with. The next day (today) I asked her to text me when she was coming home so that I could put my mask on/go back to my room. She responded and said she wanted me to wear a mask in common spaces REGARDLESS of if she was there or not. I don’t think it is fair of her to ask me to wear a mask in the living room when she is gone for 14+ hours a day so I just didn’t respond and only wore a mask when leaving the apartment as a whole. She hasn’t come home once today so I don’t feel bad about not wearing a mask in the common spaces, especially after testing negative for Covid

My (23M) gf (26F) and I just broke up. Did I make the right call?

Me (24M) and my gf (26F) have been dating for 3 years in which the last 4 months have been long distance due to grad school. Well when I went to visit her after 4 months, it felt odd for both of us despite FaceTiming every day. But I quickly got over it and it began to feel normal for me. For her, she said she felt as if the spark was gone and she lost the love. She loves me as a person but not as a partner.

Well that was 4 weeks ago, and we have been breaking up and getting back together (long distance) every week. She admitted last week that she saw another attractive guy and thought what it would be like to date him but quickly reminded herself she only wants me.

Today she said that she thinks she lost attraction and was majorly dating me for my looks. (Objectively I have great characteristics and her family as well as her friends thinks I’m hot). She said she still loves me and wants to care for me but she thinks if my looks fade, which it will, then she would have a tougher time loving me.

After hearing that I’m basically her trophy boyfriend, I decided to cut things off permanently. I loved her for her despite her looks and even told her if she aged, I would always be in love with her. But when I asked her if I got uglier and aged would you love me, she responded with Idk.

Any advice or opinions on this? Am I asking too much for someone to love me for me and not my looks?

I really wanted to marry this girl and really believed in through sickness and health etc. but I guess she didn’t…

my partner and i, 20F/21F, are very invested in politics. we were also raised very differently. i grew up in the midwest, moving house to house, school to school, any money i made my parents often asked me for help with bills, yada yada. my partner grew up in SoCal, very well off family, has talked about possibly inheriting $4 mil from her grandparents, any money she makes she spends pretty quickly or donates it to people in need. just for context and nuance of how differently we innately approach worldly topics.

any time something comes up that's political in nature, it always feels like she wants me to interact with it the way she does. and i'm open to being told that i need to nut up and do more, if that's the case. i always find myself feeling really uncomfortable when she urges me to do more political work. she introduced me to this website, that i still am not even sure if it's legit, where you can... click... and it "donates for free" to certain middle eastern groups that are in need. at first she just requested that i click there once a day, and i did, then she started urging me to use all of my browser options and my phone to click multiple times in a day, every day. is it not enough that i'm already putting in the effort? today, a man named Marcellus Williams is scheduled for an unconstitutional execution, september 24, 2024, at 6pm CST, in missouri. i have shared the post talking about it online, i have commented under governor parson's instagram, i have called the office, yet she seems to want me to harass this man about this execution. i personally don't want to harass anyone. i hate when people harass me. it doesn't make me feel good to comment under every. single. instagram post of governor parson's instagram to end the execution of Marcellus Williams, especially considering how many people ARE and how many people ARE constantly calling and leaving messages to him about this unlawful execution planned to happen. she also seems to hold the ideology that "if you're not willing to die for the cause, you're not FOR the cause." (she's never said this verbatim, but her intensity is in that direction). can i not also value my mental health and physical health while being an activist? i'm no help to these people if i have nothing, and if i'm dead. is that wrong? am i wrong? do i not care enough?

any perspectives and thoughts are welcome.

I started bringing my new boyfriend around my friends for game nights and we usually have a good time. The group consists of entirely guys and towards the end of the night my friend's wife would come home and say hi to everyone. My boyfriend strongly believes in giving compliments when do so he will always tell her how pretty she looks that night and loves w/e outfit she's wearing. That's fine

The other night however we played a drinking game and my boyfriend definitely drank the most out of everyone. My friend's wife comes home and says hi to everyone and again my boyfriend compliments her on her looks but tonight felt really off. He was leaning in and beaming at her and kept telling her how pretty she looked, grabbed her hands and said he really liked her nails, brushed back her hair because it was in her face, and did the occasional shoulder touches. She asked if she could join us and my boyfriend exclaims "Of course! Pretty women get what they want". At one point I asked if I needed to sit between them.

Throughout the night they were distracted with one another as we had to tell them several times "hey it's your turn" and then eventually we were like "hey this mechanic is going to knock you out of the game" and my boyfriend says "that's fine! It just means I get to talk more with (my friend's wife)". Once the game was completely over everyone started to pack their things and my boyfriend asks my friend's wife for her phone number so they can continue talking and she goes "of course" and goes up to me jokingly says"I'm stealing your man"

On the car ride home I told him how uncomfortable all that made me feel because he was very flirtatious with her. He said he was sorry and didn't want it to come off like that and it was mal de ojo, a Mexican tradition where you touch something you admire (her hair, her nails) or else it's bad luck. He also said it wasn't flirting because he had no intention of any sexual relations with her and was just having a really good time talking to her about politics and art. I told him it made me feel really jealous which hurt him as he teared up a little bit and took my hands and said he loves me and only wants me and I shouldn't feel jealous because that means I don't trust him. I tried it explain to him that I do trust him but that doesn't mean I can't be jealous too and he asked me why does it make me uncomfortable then and I couldn't answer. I told him I did not know why but it made me uncomfortable. He said he would consider that moving forward and asked me how many compliments and touches is he allowed to give (1, 2, 3?) and would abide by it but felt that I was placing restrictions on him and that he'd be okay with w/e I did with other people as long as it wasn't sexual and said that would be the only way he could feel jealous because he trusts me

I'm going to talk to him again tonight because all this happened while he was drunk and that night just left me feeling jealous and insecure

EDIT: I am a guy and my boyfriend is bi