Little girl performs by herself

[u/astral12]

[u/fugue-mind]

He only looks about 4. He's not at an age where this will teach him anything about "overcoming". More likely he will just have permanent stage fright moving forward, will never want to perform again, and just have a vague memory of terror on a stage from his youth lol

In general I agree with you, it's just not a lesson this kid is remotely equipped to learn from

[u/Renegade_Mermaid → u/fugue-mind]

From someone who has been on stage a lot, as well as taught children’s theater classes for several years, my take would be to have someone from backstage accompany him. It would likely only take a little bit of coaxing to assure him he’s supported, to the point he would feel confident continuing by himself. And even if it didn’t, what is more important - the performance or the child?

Everyone will have a different view on this, but as a theater nut, I’d truly hate to see a child lose their interest in the arts because adults were worried about coddling or supporting. Being on stage is SCARY. I have done dozens of shows and I still get a gut sinking feeling before I go on. You’re vulnerable, exposed. Even in a sea of people, you’re putting yourself out there in a very real spectacle-esque way. People have come to watch you do everything you learned. It’s a live test in front of strangers.

To me, this experience will solidify as pure embarrassment and he won’t easily recover. Plus, this forms distrust of those who prepared him for this (all adults involved). Kids aren’t circus animals. Sure, it’s important to continue the show, and that is a very real principle to be learned, but at this age, he’s likely deciding that this is something he will NOT want to do again, especially if forced. And it’s a shame, because arts education and involvement supports so much else both developmentally and academically. And socially, theater and dancing already lacks a strong interest from boys. This is a loss all around and hard to watch.

[u/fugue-mind → u/Renegade_Mermaid]

Thank you, your perspective as a theater person WITH experience actually teaching theater to kids is really valuable here.

It's a shame how many parents think they are teaching their kids "lessons" when the kid isn't equipped to actually learn anything positive. They don't see it but this is actually more akin to a punishment in the effect it will have on him, it's just letting a lot negative reinforcement continue completely unchecked ("I'm on stage -> everyone's staring -> I'm stuck -> they're laughing at me -> I'm so stupid -> why can't I move -> laughing at me -> I'm stuck on stage -> I'm trapped -> etc").

I agree with you that this kid probably will not come back to theater arts unless he has an adult help him process the aftermath of this experience with patience and compassion, but based on this display I kind of doubt that's the case.

[u/Renegade_Mermaid → u/fugue-mind]

In my opinion, "lessons" don't exist at this age. Meaning, kids this small can't "learn lessons" because they are just beginning to learn the perimeters of their world. Lessons exist within the perimeters. You have to define those first, then you can apply social ethics and expectation to things. To me, it would be the same as expecting a small child to understand algebra before they learned basic arithmetic. That's not fair.

I've seen all sorts of stage parents berate their kids for missing a line, forgetting a step, etc. I've had debates with a few of them (I tended to avoid the conflict because it puts the child squarely in the middle of two adults who they have a relationship of some sort with). Most parents don't care, which is sad. They "paid money" for the kid to do this, "It's not that big of a deal," and other invalidating responses. All this is teaching the child is that the adults closest to them don't care about their very real, very understandable feelings.

We do what we can as arts educators to praise and encourage the shy kids, and usually it comes with the reward of a very bright, beautiful child enjoying themself! It was always a goal of mine to teach the age-appropriate kids that their actions have an effect on others. At this age, though, kids are very motivated by self (which is normal). Bravery is the first step, not guilt.

The bottom line is, the arts should be something fun and something that the child feels safe doing. Instead, what they do is force kids to have terrible experiences that they then are reprimanded for, not understanding why their inherent fear of the unknown is their fault or feeling ashamed for having those feelings (i.e. not feeling adequate).

My child has been (voluntarily) involved with theater for several years, and we still go over the 3 essentials:

• You're awesome, and part of an awesome team. (Role size doesn't matter.)
• You all worked hard collectively, and it will be a great show just because of that. Even if it's "not" and things go "wrong," you are loved, supported and not alone.
• HAVE FUN. (If you're not having fun, then it's time to ask yourself why.)

Of course, the littles generally don't understand the concept of improvisation too well, so having a robotic child on stage (like the little girl) is to be expected every now and then out of fight/flight response. It doesn't make her better than him - she just responded differently (and age-appropriately).

Sorry for the long response - I'm quite passionate about it all!