r/MadeMeSmile • u/astral12 • Jul 29 '24

Little girl performs by herself Good Vibes

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39.8k Upvotes

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10.3k

u/PacquiaoFreeHousing Jul 29 '24

I hope my kids are as resilient as that little girl

4.3k

u/Putrid-Effective-570 Jul 29 '24

Best hope so. I feel for the boy. That had to be a whole living nightmare from the moment he froze up.

1.6k

u/Primary-Border8536 Jul 29 '24

Idk why a parent or teacher didn't go and help him or anything

1.2k

u/Historical-Tough6455 Jul 29 '24

In little kid productions silently crying isn't that bad of a result.

215

u/UNMANAGEABLE Jul 29 '24

Yep. Our daughter is in toddler dance class and actually dancing during performances is seen as a gift rather than a requirement šŸ˜‚

65

u/Convergentshave Jul 29 '24

Last year when my daughter was in preschool, and they had the end of the year thing where all the kids stand in a line and they sing songs and the parents take photos, mine was the kid putting her dress over her head and sticking out her tongueā€¦.

So yeaā€¦ šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚ā€¦ not dancing isnā€™t the worst thing.

48

u/Vark675 Jul 29 '24

When my kindergarten class did a dance number to some kind of flower song, I refused to dress as a frilly little flower so my teacher gave me a big stick with a sun taped to it that I was supposed to hold up during the chorus.

I just stood behind it and glowered the entire time lol

Kudos to her for trying to accommodate me though!

11

u/UNMANAGEABLE Jul 29 '24

Lmao! Perfect story for her later. She definitely was making a point that day!

My kiddo is almost 3 and at her recital she got on stage, waved, and did nothing else during the song with the other kids and teachers. She was perfect that day for being brave and going up there with a smile on her face :-).

1

u/Convergentshave Aug 14 '24

Thatā€™s so cool. And thank you. Iā€™m going to save it for her high school graduation/wedding šŸ˜‚

Jealous youā€™re getting the ā€œalmost 3ā€ years. My daughter just turned 6 and went to first grade yesterday. And while Iā€™m proud as hell of her, love her to bits, those were certainly fun years that went by so fast. :)

633

u/photokeith Jul 29 '24

Works well for getting through the day as an adult too

125

u/Slap_My_Lasagna Jul 29 '24

Speak for yourself, I have to ugly cry to get through the silent crying, just to get through waking up.

2

u/selectrix Jul 29 '24

I was gonna say, this here is definitely gonna be a me_irl meme template.

5

u/DeadWishUpon Jul 29 '24

My daughter started howling in the middle of the performance of Mother's day, she made other children cry and acted out, they were happily performing before her tantrum. Happy mother's day to me. Silent, still, cray sounds better. At least he let the other kids continue their show.

3

u/throweraccount Jul 30 '24

Silently crying isn't the problem. It's the persisting memory of him on stage crying plastered all over the internet while the little kids dance around him like cry pixies sprinkling their fairy dust that makes you cry. It doesn't exactly help that he is front and center.

1

u/Retinoid634 Jul 29 '24

Except for the little kid.

1

u/riotofmind Jul 29 '24

That was a hilarious statement thank you

1

u/ImmoralJester54 Jul 30 '24

That's insane lol

1

u/Flimsy_Situation_506 Aug 01 '24

Your comment made me laugh.

1

u/FSpursy Jul 29 '24

could've shat himself that

235

u/vlncxntf9 Jul 29 '24

just from a stand point of teaching someone to be on stage - the show must go on. if you stop everything for a crying kid to take him off the stage just because he got scared and started crying he's never gonna overcome it.

289

u/fugue-mind Jul 29 '24 edited Jul 29 '24

He only looks about 4. He's not at an age where this will teach him anything about "overcoming". More likely he will just have permanent stage fright moving forward, will never want to perform again, and just have a vague memory of terror on a stage from his youth lol

In general I agree with you, it's just not a lesson this kid is remotely equipped to learn from

116

u/Renegade_Mermaid Jul 29 '24

From someone who has been on stage a lot, as well as taught childrenā€™s theater classes for several years, my take would be to have someone from backstage accompany him. It would likely only take a little bit of coaxing to assure him heā€™s supported, to the point he would feel confident continuing by himself. And even if it didnā€™t, what is more important - the performance or the child?

Everyone will have a different view on this, but as a theater nut, Iā€™d truly hate to see a child lose their interest in the arts because adults were worried about coddling or supporting. Being on stage is SCARY. I have done dozens of shows and I still get a gut sinking feeling before I go on. Youā€™re vulnerable, exposed. Even in a sea of people, youā€™re putting yourself out there in a very real spectacle-esque way. People have come to watch you do everything you learned. Itā€™s a live test in front of strangers.

To me, this experience will solidify as pure embarrassment and he wonā€™t easily recover. Plus, this forms distrust of those who prepared him for this (all adults involved). Kids arenā€™t circus animals. Sure, itā€™s important to continue the show, and that is a very real principle to be learned, but at this age, heā€™s likely deciding that this is something he will NOT want to do again, especially if forced. And itā€™s a shame, because arts education and involvement supports so much else both developmentally and academically. And socially, theater and dancing already lacks a strong interest from boys. This is a loss all around and hard to watch.

43

u/fugue-mind Jul 29 '24 edited Jul 29 '24

Thank you, your perspective as a theater person WITH experience actually teaching theater to kids is really valuable here.

It's a shame how many parents think they are teaching their kids "lessons" when the kid isn't equipped to actually learn anything positive. They don't see it but this is actually more akin to a punishment in the effect it will have on him, it's just letting a lot negative reinforcement continue completely unchecked ("I'm on stage -> everyone's staring -> I'm stuck -> they're laughing at me -> I'm so stupid -> why can't I move -> laughing at me -> I'm stuck on stage -> I'm trapped -> etc").

I agree with you that this kid probably will not come back to theater arts unless he has an adult help him process the aftermath of this experience with patience and compassion, but based on this display I kind of doubt that's the case.

26

u/EngelchenOfDarkness Jul 29 '24

Right? I've heard "just let them cry, they will learn how to handle themselves" so fucking often.

No, small children won't learn how to properly manage their emotions by being left alone with them. Would you sit a 5 year old down with a school book and tell them "just learn how to write and read"? No? So why do it with emotions they aren't equipped to deal with, either.

8

u/accordyceps Jul 29 '24

My childhood in a nutshell. Awesome to gain emotional literacy starting in the 30s instead of the 3s, lol.

2

u/Renegade_Mermaid Jul 29 '24

In my opinion, "lessons" don't exist at this age. Meaning, kids this small can't "learn lessons" because they are just beginning to learn the perimeters of their world. Lessons exist within the perimeters. You have to define those first, then you can apply social ethics and expectation to things. To me, it would be the same as expecting a small child to understand algebra before they learned basic arithmetic. That's not fair.

I've seen all sorts of stage parents berate their kids for missing a line, forgetting a step, etc. I've had debates with a few of them (I tended to avoid the conflict because it puts the child squarely in the middle of two adults who they have a relationship of some sort with). Most parents don't care, which is sad. They "paid money" for the kid to do this, "It's not that big of a deal," and other invalidating responses. All this is teaching the child is that the adults closest to them don't care about their very real, very understandable feelings.

We do what we can as arts educators to praise and encourage the shy kids, and usually it comes with the reward of a very bright, beautiful child enjoying themself! It was always a goal of mine to teach the age-appropriate kids that their actions have an effect on others. At this age, though, kids are very motivated by self (which is normal). Bravery is the first step, not guilt.

The bottom line is, the arts should be something fun and something that the child feels safe doing. Instead, what they do is force kids to have terrible experiences that they then are reprimanded for, not understanding why their inherent fear of the unknown is their fault or feeling ashamed for having those feelings (i.e. not feeling adequate).

My child has been (voluntarily) involved with theater for several years, and we still go over the 3 essentials:

  • You're awesome, and part of an awesome team. (Role size doesn't matter.)
  • You all worked hard collectively, and it will be a great show just because of that. Even if it's "not" and things go "wrong," you are loved, supported and not alone.
  • HAVE FUN. (If you're not having fun, then it's time to ask yourself why.)

Of course, the littles generally don't understand the concept of improvisation too well, so having a robotic child on stage (like the little girl) is to be expected every now and then out of fight/flight response. It doesn't make her better than him - she just responded differently (and age-appropriately).

Sorry for the long response - I'm quite passionate about it all!

3

u/Retinoid634 Jul 29 '24

Thank you for this informed take. That how this felt to me too.

3

u/hyena_dribblings Jul 29 '24

Lol I was a theater nerd from high school into my 20s. I finally gave it up because I couldn't shake that feeling you described all too well, and it started turning into chest pains and panic attacks before shows.

Definitely not the sort of thing just anyone can do. This video hurt to watch because it's just playing witness to what might be the worst day in someone's life, during a highly formative period in their life to boot.

3

u/Renegade_Mermaid Jul 29 '24

Precisely. And it might just be me, but this happens more often than not with the performing arts. I'm so sorry you separated from it, but it sounds like it was the best decision for you. No one should feel like that in an activity that is supposed to be enjoyable. :(

3

u/hyena_dribblings Jul 29 '24

100% agree! Sometimes you just have to know when you're licked. It's still a great hobby and I do like to write still, and I chip in with lighting and sound from time to time but my days of being on stage are done I think. Fine by me. :)

3

u/Renegade_Mermaid Jul 29 '24

Um, lighting and sound are SUPER important. I have nothing but respect for techies. We actors are nothing without a spotlight and a microphone! šŸ‘šŸ¼šŸ©· I love that youā€™ve found your niche within the community.

3

u/hyena_dribblings Jul 29 '24

Oh, yeah. A production's the sum of its parts! Not just speaking parts! ;)

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u/PinkNinjaKitty Jul 29 '24

Yes, I agree! This is really close to what happened to me ā€” like almost every other girl, I did ballet when I was 5. My big memory of being on stage is turning to look at a teacher in the wings and then hearing the whole audience laugh ā€” at the time I thought they were laughing at me, thinking I was turning at the wrong time, but now I think it was just affectionate laughing at all the cute little ballet dancers. But perfectionist child me was embarrassed and I decided I never wanted to do it again šŸ˜…

3

u/Renegade_Mermaid Jul 29 '24

A perfect example of this! I would be willing to bet the audience was enamored with the performance, because ballet recitals are super cute!

172

u/The_Chosen_Unbread Jul 29 '24

Tbh the only kid looking to have a remotely good time is the girl dancing on her own.

This whole thing gives me the creeps.

86

u/ThaddyG Jul 29 '24

Yeah this is not "made me smile" type stuff, it's weird and creepy.

85

u/Irn_brunette Jul 29 '24

The fact they're dressed as mini brides makes it worse.

22

u/yraco Jul 29 '24

The white dresses here are just associated with the purity and innocence of childhood.

It's nothing to do with weddings or brides. Red is the colour of wedding dresses, which is associated with happiness, celebration and life.

You're applying your knowledge of western culture, clothing, and colour associations to a culture that doesn't share the same ideas.

3

u/adhdroses Jul 29 '24

The veils though!!! This is obviously a mini-bride outfit!! Itā€™s a Chinese love song playing. A duet.

Iā€™m Chinese and the Chinese think this shit is cute.

-2

u/Irn_brunette Jul 29 '24

Why aren't the little boys also dressed in white, or do notions of purity only apply to girls?

3

u/yraco Jul 29 '24

They still do have white tops on. They're just wearing grey shorts instead of being completely dressed in white head to toe.

3

u/Mrg220t Jul 29 '24

Are you blind? He's clearly wearing white lmao.

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u/GeminiIsMissing Jul 29 '24 edited Jul 29 '24

I've seen this before and iirc they are in China and brides usually wear red, so this is not intentional.

Edit: I've been informed by a Chinese redditor that Chinese people do also wear white dresses and that these are mini-bride dreses. Thanks for the correction, u/adhdroses

6

u/adhdroses Jul 29 '24 edited Jul 29 '24

I am Chinese. Chinese brides actually do wear multiple outfits during their weddings, including white wedding dresses.

I would agree that wearing a white dress can be a non-bride outfit for a Chinese person, but the fact that the little girls are wearing wedding veils do make this outfit in particular, a mini-bride outfit.

Also itā€™s a Chinese love song playing (itā€™s a duet), therefore the partners and mini-bride outfit.

Not commenting on whether itā€™s acceptable or freaky as shit but tbh the Chinese do lots of this kind of thing and think itā€™s cute without bothering too much about the connotations of it.

2

u/GeminiIsMissing Jul 29 '24

Thanks for the correction! I will update my comment. I wasn't aware that Chinese brides also wear white with veils, and I don't know the song or speak Mandarin (?) so I didn't know it was a love song.

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u/[deleted] Jul 29 '24

Yeah I was wondering the same thing. There's nothing to confirm that that's what they're supposed to be, but they sure as hell look like wedding dresses...

7

u/Irn_brunette Jul 29 '24

I wondered if it was first communion but my Catholic correspondents tell me that happens when you're older than these kids appear to be and there's no choreography involved.

1

u/Nevermoreacadamyalum Aug 02 '24

Yup, first communion happens in grade one. Weā€™re saved the all consuming anxiety until first confession.

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u/SirOk5108 Jul 29 '24

Well the boys outfits are just as unfortunate

1

u/Irn_brunette Jul 29 '24

The boys outfits could pass for school uniforms at least.

4

u/embracingmountains Jul 29 '24

I did a double take on this sub like what are we smiling at folks

10

u/fugue-mind Jul 29 '24

Yeah they look dead-eyed and robotic to me. I don't see the fun, joy, excitement I would expect/hope for from young performers. Just the resigned attempt to do exactly what you're told whether you like it or not.

15

u/king0fklubs Jul 29 '24

Agreed, as an early years teacher, the performance is not nearly as important as that childs well-being. He seems stressed, just run to the front of the stage, get him off, and have a little chat with him on whether he would like to stay our or join again once he has taken some breaths and calmed down a little.

11

u/fugue-mind Jul 29 '24

Exactly. It's very telling how child educators (and scientists!) are in agreement about things like this, but meanwhile there are so many tough-love parents and other adults here who are stubbornly insisting that this is...good for him?

2

u/mentaldriver1581 Jul 29 '24

šŸ˜¢šŸ‘šŸ»

2

u/cyborgspleadthefifth Jul 29 '24

I have a distinct memory of getting stage fright as a 6 or 7 year old and getting punished for trying to hide my face in my shirt even though I was way in the back of the class

to this day refuse to perform in any capacity in front of strangers. I don't sing I don't dance I don't give speeches, absolutely will not make myself the center of attention on a stage of any kind

it's such a horrible feeling and the adults around me responded in the worst possible way

6

u/Aldamur Jul 29 '24

I have to disagree with you on this point. Toddler have to do mistake to learn. If you always take their hands on everything they will assume all the time they can rely on someone else, which is not the case when they are grown up.

Yes I have 2 kids.

9

u/reddit_is_geh Jul 29 '24

They have to learn things within their emotional and intellectual capacity. Kids this age are more likely to get some minor trauma outcome than learn how to overcome it. Because as we all know, positive growth requires overcoming things within reach... Something like this is probably well outside his lane of cognitive and emotional capacity.

You obviously want to make them self reliant and encourage them to manage everything on their own as much as possible. But some things are just a little to extreme, which is exactly when parents need to step in and get them back on the rails.

4

u/fugue-mind Jul 29 '24 edited Jul 29 '24

That's great. Just know that your point of view conflicts with everything we know scientifically about child development and psychology, but go ahead with your "feelings"; I'm sure they're just as reliable as decades of controlled research about thousands of children.

Like I said - In general, I'd agree with you, if he were a little older. But an experience like this does not cultivate resilience, rather it is much more likely to cultivate fear that will be even more difficult to overcome later on because he won't even remember or thus understand why he feels terror and humiliation at the thought of standing in front of a crowd of people.

Edit: PS, gently coaxing a terrified 4 year old off stage to decompress is not even close to "holding his hand" on "everything"

NEVER taking his hand when he needs help is just as bad as "always" taking his hand. In trying to teach him that he can't "always" rely on someone else, you may very likely end up teaching him he can "never" rely on someone else, which is its own fucked up can of childhood baggage.

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u/Old_Acanthaceae5198 Jul 29 '24

Meh, I've seen plenty of the kids star enjoying it after their 30 second tantrum. Every little transgression isn't some event that's going to ruin kids lives. Especially not at 4.

1

u/Fingered_by_Jesus Jul 29 '24

Probably a good idea he stays off stage. This performance was the worst.

1

u/fugue-mind Jul 29 '24

Lol well, that is most likely exactly what he took away from this experience, so you've probably gotten your wish.

1

u/Chronjen Jul 29 '24

I dunno..I had a meltdown at this age and again throughout life. I overcame and now teach in a college setting and do conferences, etc.

What sucks more than anything is the recorded nightmare permantly attached to his personal file.

2

u/fugue-mind Jul 29 '24 edited Jul 29 '24

That's awesome for you -- I had stage fright as a kid and overcame it in a similar way. For me it was a pretty terrible uphill slog, though. I put in a lot of deliberate, targeted work that lots of people have trouble to do as adults.

I'm not claiming it's impossible to overcome something like this. I'm claiming that this kid is not ready to learn any coherent "lesson" from this situation from adults who think they are teaching one. All he is likely to take away at this age is "being on stage" = "trapped in terror, humiliation, not safe, no escape, avoid at all costs"

1

u/EmotionalElevator806 Jul 29 '24

I dunno. When I was about that age I was in a dance recital and I was that kid crying on the stage. Years later I joined the church choir and I loved performing after that. When I got into high school I was really into being in plays and performing on stage. Maybe he was just having a bad day.

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u/fugue-mind Jul 29 '24 edited Jul 29 '24

Yes, you got past a bad experience, but are you claiming you literally learned and grew from sobbing on stage throughout an entire performance (ie "I wouldn't have been able to perform later in life if they hadn't let me stand there and cry")? Or are you saying that you learned to love performance despite your bad experience?

Because we are talking about the former, not the latter.

Of course not everyone this happens to is going to take away something negative that effects them moving forward. It's just that it's a likely enough outcome that it's not worth pretending that you're "teaching" him something by putting him through this experience and risk putting him off of performance/stage work later on, when you could have easily solved it with compassion, patience and support.

TLDR; a little support, affirmation and positive intervention is way more likely to lead to good outcomes compared to just simply hoping that he moves on

1

u/Phunwithscissors Jul 29 '24

How many memories do you have from 4 y/o?

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u/fugue-mind Jul 29 '24 edited Jul 29 '24

Personally, I have many -- mainly just scary, humiliating and/or traumatic ones. But that doesn't matter because explicit memories are not required to internalize, learn, and become conditioned by your early life experiences.

Most of kids future personalities are developed before 5-6 years old when it comes to traits like anxiety and fearfulness. This is the time period where he learns whether the world is a safe place, whether people around him can be trusted, etc. This is a critical time for him and these adults are failing him in this moment.

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u/Pokisahne Jul 29 '24

Tbh someone could have gone up there and help him overcome.

7

u/Primary-Border8536 Jul 29 '24

THANK U

10

u/Any-Court9772 Jul 29 '24

For real, a little cheerleader crouching in front of him could have been all he needed here. Poor dude

33

u/[deleted] Jul 29 '24

Lol he's in pre-school or kindergarten.Ā  I guarantee they spent HOURS on these silly routines just to please the parents. He is learning NOTHING by being up there.

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u/[deleted] Jul 29 '24

yeah but LEARN TO OVERCOME or something

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u/Ok_Relationship_705 Jul 29 '24

Yeah, I had to do this. It was a Easter Pageant.... I learned I look adorable dressed as a geese or whatever.

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u/dumpsterfarts15 Jul 29 '24

Everything is a learning experience. He's learned that he hates dancing and being on stage

2

u/DeathRowEscape Jul 29 '24

He is learning how to disociate, and of course be a great gaurdsman for there military, he stands to attention very well.

3

u/Primary-Border8536 Jul 29 '24

I never said stop everything for a crying kid I have seen many videos where the parent jumps in and helps or a teacher on the sidelines helps I never said stop the show

3

u/jerichojeudy Jul 29 '24

You donā€™t stop the show, you just pull him off the stage. Thatā€™s what any director would do. The show must go on but without the problematic element. Thatā€™s how show-business works.

This isnā€™t a teachable moment.

3

u/Casey_jones291422 Jul 29 '24

Here's a hot take... He doesn't need to overcome it. He didn't chose blto be on stage and may never want to again.

2

u/octopoddle Jul 29 '24

Better to throw things at him - vegetables maybe - in order to try to jump start him out of it.

1

u/Pesty__Magician Jul 29 '24

So stupid. Ā 

1

u/youlooksmelly Jul 29 '24

That, plus might make other kids start crying if the realize that can get them out of the performance

75

u/mildobamacare Jul 29 '24

Learning to overcome is part of life. It looks to me like hes learned crying solves problems

29

u/chupagatos4 Jul 29 '24

He looks like he's like 3 or 4. That's a totally normal response to have to begin in such a stimulating environment. Not everything is a teaching moment.Ā 

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u/EditzTingz Jul 29 '24

Bro he's a child. This is how I know you lot don't have many relationships with children

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u/Technical-Outside408 Jul 29 '24

How do you figure?

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u/[deleted] Jul 29 '24

[deleted]

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u/superduperspam Jul 29 '24

I guess that's a good start, but I feel we are lacking another step to solving the underlying issue

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u/ElementNumber6 Jul 29 '24

That's right. For the full life experience you gotta get some parents in the front row pointing and laughing at him, too.

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u/undeadmanana Jul 29 '24

Probably throwing tomatoes will help him move out the way

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u/Hopalongtom Jul 29 '24

He doesn't have to dance and nobody is making him!

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u/mildobamacare Jul 29 '24

Because you're going to be required to do things in life you don't want to do, and shutting down and crying is never the answer. You don't learn to overcome by having mommy rush in and fix it. This is, unironically, really good parenting.

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u/IrishEyesAreDying Jul 29 '24

Spoken like someone with zero parenting skills. This is a child, not a pre-teen who can comprehend the value of whatever 'suck-it-up' lesson you want to teach.

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u/Mr_Greaz Jul 29 '24

Donā€™t get started on the oldies here, they had to endure a 10km walk with no shoes to their school. YOU HAVE TO OVERCOME THAT IN LIFE OR YOU NEVER GONNA LEARN IT. I swear Iā€™m so glad my parents werenā€™t as cold and delusional when I grew up.

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u/BSye-34 Jul 29 '24

well hes like 5, a bit of slack wont kill him

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u/Noslamah Jul 29 '24

"NAH FUCK THAT HE NEEDS TO LEARN TO STOP BEING A FUCKING LITTLE BABY AND RELYING ON HIS MOMMY"

  • People ITT about a literal child

4

u/eulersidentification Jul 29 '24

The best parenting method for toddlers is sink or swim

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u/EditzTingz Jul 29 '24

No literally, he's a child. They're actually so odd.

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u/chupagatos4 Jul 29 '24

Yeah I need to get off the Internet, it's just making me hate people.

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u/Suspicious_Law_2826 Jul 29 '24

Or his parents! Cuz that was my Dad.

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u/extraproe Jul 29 '24

Rather 3-4

11

u/hooka_hooka Jul 29 '24

Right? Maybe a little hug and some encouragement will have him overcome the moment instead of this potentially being something he will have to overcome/deal with later in life

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u/ThePerfumeCollector Jul 29 '24

Crying when someone is emotional often helps though. I doubt that he is intentionally crying with the purpose of solving the shitty situation he is in. Also, itā€™s a kid.

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u/McFlyyouBojo Jul 29 '24

These are redditors you are replying to. Remember that lol.

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u/uselessta16283 Jul 29 '24

No it fucking isnā€™t this is how you develop permanent trust issues. This shit would not work on people with social anxiety and autism.

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u/Boba_Fett_boii Jul 29 '24

100% facts! Glad to see not everyone here has gone insane.

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u/[deleted] Jul 29 '24 edited Jul 29 '24

[deleted]

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u/Boba_Fett_boii Jul 29 '24

Hmm, I hadn't thought of that, I wonder if their reactions would have been different if the genders were reversed? Based on reactions I've seen on the internet to similar situations, if the girl was crying and the boy kept dancing, people might start blaming the boy for not helping their dance partner.

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u/Primary-Border8536 Jul 29 '24

I honest to god can't believe the amount of people that are treating this literal 4 year old like he's a big kid. A bit of encouragement could help. Not every kid is the same. I used to be so scared and still as an adult sweat and feel like I'm gonna pass out when I am on stage in front of people. I shake I can't deal with it. This is just cruel

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u/NoriOnline Jul 29 '24

autism is one thing but social anxiety can be overcome, stop enabling

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u/uselessta16283 Jul 29 '24

Its not ā€œenablingā€ hes a fucking toddler

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u/NoriOnline Jul 29 '24

ok but this toddler will grow up & continue on this way if heā€™s coddled everytime he faces adversity

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u/uselessta16283 Jul 29 '24

You are making a lot of assumptions about someone you donā€™t know. Men are allowed to cry too.

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u/NoriOnline Jul 29 '24

yes men are allowed to cry, thatā€™s an old argument im a man & i cry at times like all normal humans but eventually you have to stop the tears and pick yourself up because no oneā€™s coming to save you everytime. i understand that heā€™s still a child but he has to learn that this behavior isnā€™t acceptable and will only cause him more pain in his future.

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u/NoriOnline Jul 29 '24

glad someone said it šŸŽÆ

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u/Tentacled-Tadpole Jul 29 '24

He's not at the age where this will teach him any life lessons...

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u/me34343 Jul 29 '24

The parents shouldn't run up there and take him down, but the teacher or parent going up there are dancing with him for a bit might help. Just to get him going.

Though, if they are leaving him like this I am leaning to the belief he does this often and they are letting him know crying will not solve his problems.

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u/EditzTingz Jul 29 '24

This is how you mess up a kid's attachment style. 0 parenting skills.

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u/Death_Snek Jul 29 '24

I agree with you with not being overprotective with children. But I think that these kind of style of teaching must be done with caution. For example, maybe if you know that the child doesnā€™t like or is afraid of stages. Maybe you could find a way for him to fit there without being that closer to the crowd.

People here are talking as if they are the supreme rulers of how a mind work. But hey, there are children that will see this as a experience and push themselves harder to overcome this. Itā€™s not impossible. A good father and mother should have a conversation and explain that what happened is ok, but he needs to learn from this.

I was a very timid child in a outward and expressive country and people and culture. Iā€™m from Brazil. I had to overcome things and yeah, from an early age and my parents never did take me away from those challenges, but they were always with me whenever I failed or I succeeded. Showing support!

In the end, I overcame this and now I can talk in public no problem.

2

u/No-Confusion-2589 Jul 29 '24

Why not ,if mummy helps him in mid it will boost his confidence rather then crying . Child can get trama .

1

u/Sp1ormf Jul 29 '24

You should look up attachment

-4

u/AlbertaAcreageBoy Jul 29 '24

Can already tell, that kid isn't going places.

2

u/[deleted] Jul 29 '24 edited Jul 29 '24

Well it's reddit, so you can do a deep analysis of someone's pysche by a seconds-long out of context video of them even tho you have no formal training and are probably still in college

-1

u/mitchMurdra Jul 29 '24

Hurr durr

15

u/down_with_the_cistem Jul 29 '24

Heā€™s. Fucking. Four

2

u/throwitawaynownow1 Jul 29 '24

Probably still freeloading off his parents, and taking naps every afternoon.

2

u/TurbulentFee7995 Jul 29 '24

What life lesson is he learning by having this episode broadcast to millions on the internet and picked apart by vultures like you? There is only one lesson he will learn. Don't fail or you will be ridiculed. And the end result of that lesson will be "Don't Try, Won't Fail" just to avoid the peeking eyes of creepy idiots on the other side of the planet.

-1

u/bennitori Jul 29 '24

It's not solving his problems once everyone swarms him asking what's wrong and why he didn't do the dance. He has now learned that crying may solve immediate problems. But it creates a ton more afterwards. Which is why the only time you cry is in the bathroom or when you're alone. Or you get your crying done before hand and just power through it once the tears have been cleaned up.

2

u/geodebug Jul 29 '24

If you run in at every hint of a negative experience you're teaching your child not to be able to handle life, which I guess is good for the therapy industry.

Kid's computer froze for 60 seconds of dance. He'll live without someone helecoptering in and he probably barely remembered the experinece five minutes later.

2

u/ArtisenalMoistening Jul 29 '24

If this were my kid I would not be able to resist rescuing him. Heā€™s just a little guy, I donā€™t think making him suffer through something that isnā€™t exactly a life requirement is helping anything šŸ˜„

2

u/Primary-Border8536 Jul 29 '24

Thank youuuuu. A lot of these comments really irritate me or rub me the wrong way.

8

u/Mistabushi_HLL Jul 29 '24

Because 20 yrs later you will have a guy living in his parentā€™s basement playing COD all day.

8

u/[deleted] Jul 29 '24

[deleted]

3

u/Mistabushi_HLL Jul 29 '24

Dady left, had to change my own diapers. Worked in mine when I was 4. Danced with girl when I was 5. At the age of 20 I had my first grandchildren.

1

u/daisydukes__ Jul 29 '24

Itā€™s china, they donā€™t give a fuck.

1

u/Pinkalink23 Jul 29 '24

You got to let kids fail. They got to learn. You can't rescue them from themselves all the time.

2

u/Primary-Border8536 Jul 29 '24

It's been proven that secure attachment leads to independence. There's nothing wrong with being there for a literal toddler aged kid.

1

u/VVaterTrooper Jul 29 '24

Everyone watching. Just let him suffer.

1

u/Donequis Jul 29 '24

Sometimes we do, sometimes we'd rather let the other more successful children get all the filming space for their kid and simply sit back trying to mime the motions as reminders.

An overwhelmed kid is very common, and honestly expected at certain ages lol

1

u/youlooksmelly Jul 29 '24

Because he was the best part of the performance, why take him away when nobody can take their eyes off of him?

1

u/octopoddle Jul 29 '24

The teacher also froze up.

1

u/BatFancy321go Jul 30 '24

lol korean parents don't do that. kids are trained in these pageants from preschool

1

u/RespectedRivers Jul 29 '24

Cuz this is normal and funny. Every dance recital I been to always has some kids tweaking, even my old recital vids has these and it's funny to look back at

1

u/[deleted] Jul 29 '24

[deleted]

0

u/Primary-Border8536 Jul 29 '24

that's quite a reach. these kids are so so so young. give me a break. smfh

1

u/[deleted] Jul 29 '24

[deleted]

1

u/inlw Jul 29 '24

No oneā€™s helping the poor boy because the ā€œadultsā€ went through trash parenting themselves and arenā€™t exactly adults themselves, more like overgrown children

Trauma doesnā€™t make kids resilient, it does the opposite actually

1

u/Primary-Border8536 Jul 29 '24

!!!!!!!!! Thank you

1

u/HeyManItsToMeeBong Jul 29 '24

Crying is not an emergency

1

u/[deleted] Jul 29 '24

[deleted]

0

u/Primary-Border8536 Jul 29 '24

comfort him? lmfao

1

u/BubblesDahmer Jul 29 '24

Cause most adults donā€™t care about children nearly as much as they think they do. People seem to think that children are some sort of different species. Theyā€™re not. Theyā€™re just us with less brain development. Think about how hard your emotions are for you. For kids everything is harder because they donā€™t know how to deal with it, and everyone just says ā€œoh haha little Billy crying again! Typical childā€

This happened to me once and my family just kinda got mad at me because ā€œYOU DID IT BEFORE AND YOU WERE FINE!ā€

-4

u/Substantial-Maize-40 Jul 29 '24

These kids are brought up tougher.

5

u/yesnomaybenotso Jul 29 '24

Apparently not tho

-1

u/Substantial-Maize-40 Jul 29 '24

Ha the girl disagrees

2

u/LongTatas Jul 29 '24

Terrible b8

0

u/BelboBeggens Jul 29 '24

I believe they have different cultural expectations. he's supposed to kill himself now.

0

u/Beriazim Jul 29 '24

Natural selection it is

-8

u/Electronic-Tap-2863 Jul 29 '24

Oh he'll be sent somewhere for "help" after this. China don't play that shit

-3

u/[deleted] Jul 29 '24

Sigh